IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

write a referral letter to an endocrinologist

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I am writing to refer Ms Tabtha Taborlin, a 45- year-old patient, who is a poor
control
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 type one diabetes with intermittent diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). She requires your assessment and management for the rigid glycemic
control
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 and
insulin
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 pump insertion as you deem appropriate. Ms Taborlin has been struggling with diabetes since she was 7 years old. she is a noncompliant patient with recurrent ketoacidosis and admission. 4 days back she was admitted with dehydration and a glucose level of 530 mmol/l on admission. She was taking
insulin
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 with the dose of 45 units of Lantus and 12 units of Humalog nightly and an additional pre-prandial correctional scale with the Humalog,
however
Linking Words
, she had not used it regularly. She does not exercise and she smokes 2 cigarettes per day. She is underweight and she has essential hypertension as well. Despite discussing the necessity of strict glucose
control
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 and regular
insulin
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 injections, she still doesn’t use
insulin
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 regularly and does not follow the recommended diet. It would be great if you could visit her and give us your valuable opinion about an alternative treatment plan for better glycemic
control
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such
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 as
insulin
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 pump. Yours sincerely, Doctor

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific details about the patient's medical history and previous treatments to enhance the completeness of the task response.
coherence cohesion
Review the structural presentation, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear and distinct focus to maximize coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are professionally written and tailored to the situation.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is suitable and professional. It clearly indicates the necessity of the referral and the patient's current condition.
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