IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

News media is more influential nowadays. Some people think it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often considered that in the contemporary era, a few
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
news
Use synonyms
 media is more influential.
Whereas
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, other population reckons that it is an unfavourable development.
Thus
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, I dissent from the notion which
further
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 leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, there are manyfold advantages of having the
news
Use synonyms
 channels because they collect various kinds of information from every corner of the nation
although
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 it is very beneficial to folks.
Moreover
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, it is mandatory for everyone to know about mishappenings and learn from
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 mistakes in future which
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 already
done
Add a missing verb
been done
show examples
 by others.
For example
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, "The Times of India" an Indian newspaper illustrates about the
tradegy
Correct your spelling
tragedy
 that
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happened in Mumbai. It was about the gas leakage and
as a consequence
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 of
leakage
Correct article usage
the leakage
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, all family members
were died
Change to the active voice
died
have died
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. Probing ahead, nowadays, the students who are preparing for their competitive exams
then
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 it is compulsory for them to watch
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
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 as it provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable knowledge and
additionally
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, they
also
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 reveal
about
Change preposition
apply
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the upcoming updates on study materials.
Furthermore
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,
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 provides health tips and protections against the daily habits of a person which provokes them to be unfit.
For instance
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, "The Zeenews" is a
news
Use synonyms
 channel, it daily telecasts a show on health in the early morning. In a nutshell,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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essential information for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humankind is necessary for their fitness and healthy body, so these
news
Use synonyms
 media are the mediums for the updation of every life
in
Change preposition
with
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 respect
of
Change preposition
to
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 health
along with
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 important
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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.
Instead
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 of giving adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 to a man, they are offering them
a good and necessary tips
Correct the article-noun agreement
good and necessary tips
a good and necessary tip
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph follows logically from the one before. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, present a clear thesis statement and summarize the main points clearly, making sure they reflect the question's focus.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, provide specific and detailed examples. Avoid being too general or vague in your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that the response answers all parts of the question thoroughly. Display your stance explicitly and deal with the nuances of the question to provide a complete response.
task achievement
Strive to articulate ideas clearly throughout the essay. Aim for precision in language use and the development of comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Use examples that are directly relevant to the question posed and ensure they strengthen your argument. Provide enough detail to make your examples persuasive and fit your argument.
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