In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is stated that, currently life expectancy of people is extended in several nations. It is considered by some
an
elder population Correct word choice
that an
make
issues for state authorities, Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
while
others believe that there are positive outcomes of many elders
existence in the society. The benefits of increasing aged head Change noun form
elders'
elder's
count
is
completely significant than Change the verb form
are
its’
drawbacks.
The growth of the Correct your spelling
its
elders
Replace the word
elderly
count
causes strain on the
national health and other social welfare systems. There are more caregivers and resources are needed to allocate for their Correct article usage
apply
wellbeing
which can facilitate for younger generation. Correct your spelling
well-being
In addition
, authorities require continuing their retirement payments and other related facilities over the
long time period. It can be Correct article usage
a
extra
burden for the particular country and not returned.
Add an article
an extra
However
, the experience
and knowledge of senior citizens are important asset
to Change the noun form
assets
the
fellow individuals. Change the word
their
To build
up Change the verb form
Building
required
skills and Correct article usage
the required
experience
take
many years and replacing Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
of matured
Change preposition
mature
senior
is difficult in various Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
field
. Fix the agreement mistake
fields
For instance
, medical students undergo training under senior doctors as an essential part of their bachelor and experience
from their experts is play
Wrong verb form
plays
vital
role in their future Add an article
a vital
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Consequently
, sustainability
of Correct article usage
the sustainability
community
Correct article usage
the community
is
greatly Verb problem
apply
depending
on Wrong verb form
depends
consultation
of senior people. Through their knowledge and past Correct article usage
the consultation
experience
they competent
to direct Add a missing verb
are competent
the
individuals Correct article usage
apply
by
correct Change preposition
through
decision making
and risk analysis. If Add a hyphen
decision-making
elder
head Correct article usage
the elder
count
is increasing in
Change preposition
apply
the
society will be safer and more productive Correct article usage
apply
due to
their guidance.
In conclusion, even though climbing up of older count
make burden to state
, Correct article usage
the state
contribution
of elders through their Add an article
the contribution
experience
and knowledge are
tremendous.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Submitted by thushari8814 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, make sure to provide a more balanced consideration of both sides of the issue, acknowledging complexities and offering clearer, more specific examples. Expand on your ideas more thoroughly to demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on organizing your essay more effectively by using a variety of linking words and clear topic sentences. Connect your ideas more logically and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!