Most students choose to work part time during their university studies. Do you think it’s good or bad idea? Give your opinion and support with an explanation and examples.

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I believe that the positive impact of working during university studies is greater than the negative
inpact
Correct your spelling
impact

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on students. I
have
Wrong verb form
had

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb have. Consider changing it.

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a
Change the word
my

The word a may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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first hand
Add a hyphen
first-hand

It appears that first hand is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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experience
on
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the topic, when I turned nineteen years old I decided to move out and experimented
living
Change preposition
with living

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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by myself
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

studying. On a
Typical
Fix capitalization
typical

Typical does not appear to be a proper noun. Consider lowercasing it.

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day
Add a comma
day,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On a Typical day. Consider adding a comma.

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I would spend many
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

studying and attending classes, the rest of the
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the day working and little to no time was left for friends,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it's a very draining lifestyle mentally and
phisically
Correct your spelling
physically

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;
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

moreover
Add a comma
moreover,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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it
inevitabily
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inevitably

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slows down your studies, the
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

you spend working are
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

taken from learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my opinion, there are a lot of good things that students learn if they
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

studying
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as organisational skills
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because they are forced to organise their days, weeks,
months
Correct word choice
and months

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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in relation to their exams,
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and time,
Linking Words
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase furthermore. Consider adding a comma.

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they learn how to be independent and the importance of money. Another big part is the interpersonal skills; a person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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studied for ten years and didn't
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is more likely to join a
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

environment without any idea about
employees
Fix the agreement mistake
employee

It seems that employees may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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relations, and how to be part of a team,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they would have
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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practical skills and likely to find hard to integrate themselves. The only positive side of studying without working is that you can finish your course faster and look for the job of your dreams earlier. I believe that
the
Change preposition
in the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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end it all comes to personal choices, what do we value most within personal growth or a faster achievement, where a faster achievement doesn't always reflect
into
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a fulfilled, happy working life. Working
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

studying is an experience that made me grow to be the independent woman that I am today, so I would
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely

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advise that to others.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that outlines your main arguments, followed by body paragraphs that explore these in detail, and a strong conclusion that summarizes your views. This structure will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. This will help your essay to flow more naturally from one point to the next.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Expand on your examples and explanations to showcase a deeper analysis of the topic.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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