For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #form #entertainment #development

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Public concern has arisen about whether shopping as

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entertainment is a good change or it has some drawbacks. I tend to believe, that shopping should be only done when it is needed. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that most of the things, that are bought, end up in dumpsters and are not recycled.

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leads to overconsumption, which is one of the main causes of climate change,

consequently

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to the loss of biodiversity

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since animals' natural habitats are being constantly destroyed.

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, things, that only make us satisfied for a short time, are the cause of worldwide problems.

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, to keep up with high demand, factories have to produce a lot of stuff, which requires a lot of natural resources. In some time those resources become exhausted and we start lacking them. It is obvious that

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type of entertainment is the opposite of environmentally friendly.

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, when buying things, some people tend to find happiness, which is significant for their mental health and wellness

overall

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. Especially, when the weather is not satisfying enough to go out for some outdoor activities, individuals need another way to spend their free time in order not to feel depressed or lonely.

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, people could be opting for window shopping. By doing so not only they are saving money, but

also

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having

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a similar kind of experience.

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, shopping can lead to important environmental problems,

thus

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it must not be done as a way of entertainment.

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, there are options

how

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to do

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activity without being wasteful.

Submitted by oimigle on Mon May 06 2024

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Content Balance

Be cautious of generalizing negative impacts without showing the other side equally. This could enhance balanced argumentation.

Example Diversity

Consider diversifying your examples to cover a broader impact. Specific details add depth to your argument.

Coherence

Use transitional phrases to ensure smooth flow between paragraphs and within them.

Task Response

Clarify your position in the introduction for an immediate, clear understanding of your viewpoint.

Content Insight

Your essay introduces a critical perspective on the environmental impacts of shopping as entertainment, which is an insightful angle.

Structure

Structured paragraphs with clear main ideas make your essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Fewer and fewer people today right by hand using a pen pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or a negative development?

living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problem and practical problem. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?