IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Today, people can work and live in anywhere they want, because of the improvement of communication technology and transport. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #work #improvement #communication #technology #transport #development
Presently, it is much easier to work from a distance owing to the advancements achieved in technology and transportation. It is my contention that
this
 flexibility furnishes
individuals
 with numerous opportunities both in their professional and personal lives, resulting in significant benefits. The first salient advantage of improved communication technology and transport is that
people
 can now get a distance job anywhere in the
world
 with the help of the Internet and software tools.
For example
, a majority of tech companies prefer to outsource their programming works to IT specialists who are scattered around the
world
 with relatively more experience. With
this
 method, companies can save a lot of resources
instead
 of hiring
individuals
 who will incur excessive operational expenses.
Moreover
, online employment opportunities allow certain
individuals
 to earn higher salaries, and be able to dedicate more time to their family members. Another obvious benefit is that ease of transportation has reached a whole another level with the possibility of
people
 travelling to the farthest places in the
world
 in a few hours.
This
 agility expedites processes that used to be considered time-consuming and even impossible. To cite an example, in comparison with today's accessible
world
, in the 90s only a few fortunate
people
 could travel across other countries, making it an extremely rare occurrence for even economically well-off
people
. As opposed to that almost everyone can travel to their desired country with an economic budget. In conclusion,
although
 there might be a few negative downsides of working abroad, it is eclipsed by the advantages and has been proven to be a pragmatic solution for families and
individuals
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question. While the essay discusses the advantages of remote work and improved transportation, it slightly misses directly weighing those against the disadvantages. Explicitly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and provide a balanced discussion if needed.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and logical paragraphing. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Follow with supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Ensure every paragraph contributes to your overall argument or discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas (e.g., furthermore, however, in contrast). This will make your argument more persuasive and your essay easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Communication technology
  • Remote working
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Urban congestion
  • Social inequalities
  • Transient populations
  • Globally homogeneous
  • Work-life separation
  • Connectivity
  • Erosion of local cultures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: