In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside the vehicle. Advantages oughtweigh the disadvantages.

It is an argument that driverless transport is more beneficial than human
drivers
.I disagree with that for several reasons and
this
essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of autonomius. There are two main reasons to believe driverless cars become serious social problems.First and foremost ,
this
could lead to loss of career opportunities as millions of bus and truck operators
due to
this
replacement and
also
drivers
unable to find another job
due to
competition.
Therefore
, the crime rate will increase since they are not able to fulfil basic needs.
Secondly
, automatic transmission may require more frequent and expensive maintenance compared to manual transmission.If any breakdowns it will require expert technicians to fix bugs and require more time
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
this
will lead to decreased productivity
due to
delay.
For example
, if any automatic ambulance service breakdowns will cause to loss of a patient's life.
Thus
, autonomous
vehicles
affect seriously human life.
However
, driverless transport is sometimes more convenient than manual-driven ones because driving long distances and driving in traffic is really hard. In these situations, self-driving cars act as not only a helping aid but
also
a lifesaver. Most traffic accidents occur
drivers
' carelessness and tiredness.
Therefore
self-driving transportation directly reduces the accident rate.
Moreover
, transportation costs could be lower because no need to pay
drivers
' salaries.
As a result
of
this
, self-driving
vehicles
become popular
however
, I think
this
program
vehicles
are not better controlled
due to
programming. In conclusion, I believe
although
autonomous
vehicles
have benefits there are more drawbacks comparing manual transmissions mainly loss of jobs and maintenance costs.
Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction: Aim to clearly state your opinion on the argument presented in the task. Your introduction briefly mentions the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your main argument or opinion. To improve, consider starting with a hook sentence, then paraphrase the exam question, and end your introduction with a thesis statement that clearly states your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Body Paragraphs: While you presented reasons and examples, some paragraphs seem disjointed because of a lack of clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. To enhance coherence, begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about, then use examples and explanations to support this idea. Use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclusion: Your conclusion summarizes the essay but could be strengthened by more clearly restating your main arguments and your overall opinion. A strong conclusion reflects upon the arguments made and reinforces your stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
Task Achievement: You've provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, and you've included relevant examples to support your points, which is excellent. To achieve a higher score, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task prompt. Make your personal opinion more prominent throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, to meet the requirements of a clear, comprehensive, and complete response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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