In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside the vehicle. Advantages oughtweigh the disadvantages.

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicle #oughtweigh

It is an argument that driverless transport is more beneficial than human

drivers

.I disagree with that for several reasons and

this

essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of autonomius. There are two main reasons to believe driverless cars become serious social problems.First and foremost ,

this

could lead to loss of career opportunities as millions of bus and truck operators

due to

this

replacement and

also

drivers

unable to find another job

due to

competition.

Therefore

, the crime rate will increase since they are not able to fulfil basic needs.

Secondly

, automatic transmission may require more frequent and expensive maintenance compared to manual transmission.If any breakdowns it will require expert technicians to fix bugs and require more time

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

this

will lead to decreased productivity

due to

delay.

For example

, if any automatic ambulance service breakdowns will cause to loss of a patient's life.

Thus

, autonomous

vehicles

affect seriously human life.

However

, driverless transport is sometimes more convenient than manual-driven ones because driving long distances and driving in traffic is really hard. In these situations, self-driving cars act as not only a helping aid but

also

a lifesaver. Most traffic accidents occur

drivers

' carelessness and tiredness.

Therefore

self-driving transportation directly reduces the accident rate.

Moreover

, transportation costs could be lower because no need to pay

drivers

' salaries.

As a result

this

, self-driving

vehicles

become popular

however

, I think

this

program

vehicles

are not better controlled

due to

programming. In conclusion, I believe

although

autonomous

vehicles

have benefits there are more drawbacks comparing manual transmissions mainly loss of jobs and maintenance costs.

Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on Tue Feb 13 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Introduction: Aim to clearly state your opinion on the argument presented in the task. Your introduction briefly mentions the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your main argument or opinion. To improve, consider starting with a hook sentence, then paraphrase the exam question, and end your introduction with a thesis statement that clearly states your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Body Paragraphs: While you presented reasons and examples, some paragraphs seem disjointed because of a lack of clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. To enhance coherence, begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about, then use examples and explanations to support this idea. Use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' to connect sentences and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Conclusion: Your conclusion summarizes the essay but could be strengthened by more clearly restating your main arguments and your overall opinion. A strong conclusion reflects upon the arguments made and reinforces your stance on the topic.

Task Achievement

Task Achievement: You've provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, and you've included relevant examples to support your points, which is excellent. To achieve a higher score, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task prompt. Make your personal opinion more prominent throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, to meet the requirements of a clear, comprehensive, and complete response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside the vehicle. Advantages oughtweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all across the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

some people argue that the best way to reduce pollution and traffic jams from city centres is to make public transport free. do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?