In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

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Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously discussed among various individuals and groups, and one prominent one is that fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available.

This

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statement might be a debatable issue by the majority of people. In

this

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case, I firmly agree that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

This

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essay will list the benefits and drawbacks of

such

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a statement. First of all, the benefit of cheaper and wider access to food helps groups of people who are unable to eat because they have no money. Those who couldn’t afford eatables to survive are being helped by

this

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innovation.

For example

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, a homeless man who only had some spare change from other people can at least survive for another day because of the low-cost meal. Second of all, the drawbacks of fast food becoming cheaper and more widely available affect a bigger range of the population’s health. The lower cost and wider access

Change preposition

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unhealthy meals may lead plenty of individuals to uncontrolled purchase of

such

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meals.

This

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exact case will result in their health complications.

For instance

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, it could be someone’s daily option to consume

junks

Fix the agreement mistake

junk

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because it’s a safe option to purchase,

then

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years after having

such

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a routine, they will get heart complications because of how unhealthy their routine is. In conclusion, even though there are several advantages, I firmly agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, mainly because of the upcoming effects it can have.

Hence

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, it’s not fully wrong to consume junk, it just needs to be controlled so it doesn't lead to bigger problems.

Submitted by arrafiv on Tue Feb 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Be more cautious with your argumentation direction. Your conclusion states that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which contradicts your introduction and main body. This confusion diminishes the clarity and effectiveness of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Integrate a wider range of sentence structures and conjunctions to enhance the flow of your essay. This can help you link ideas more smoothly and improve the overall readability.

Task Achievement

Supplement your arguments with more specific and varied examples. While you provided one example for each point, deepening the context or providing multiple examples could strengthen your argument’s persuasive power.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

107.Some say that music is a good way of bringing people from different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.