Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Developed
countries
should give other distributions of assistance to the poor countries
apart from finance. This
is because money
which rich countries
often give to poorer countries
does not benefit them and cannot solve poverty. This
essay will discuss both sides of a controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided.
Those who consider finance to be beneficial for low-income countries
believe that money
allows them to purchase essential things for continuing living. For example
, they can buy food and drugs that help them to live. Moreover
, they can use funds to migrate to other places.
However
, this
issue is short-term and the budget they receive may not be enough to live.
On the other hand
, there are reasons that developed countries
should give other important properties of support to the poor countries
rather than money
. In other words
, the poor in the country do not have knowledge about how to use the money
for a lot of yields, as rich countries
should send other things. For instance
, poorer countries
should receive significant things such
as food, drugs, and clothes. Also
, other contributions should be built such
as accommodation, hospitals, schools, and technology to increase a good foundation for them.
In conclusion, while
sending money
does not help people who face insufficient income, high-income countries
should contribute other help such
as school, technology, and a lot of food. Therefore
, I strongly agree with the strategy to provide additional help to the poor in countries
. It would definitely assist the countries
in finding a solution to enhance their economic status.Submitted by champperkhu on
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coherence cohesion
You must ensure that the logical flow of your essay is maintained throughout. While there is an attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, there are abrupt transitions which disrupt the flow. This could be improved by using cohesive devices and clearer sentence structures to link ideas and paragraphs together more effectively.
task achievement
The response to the task shows an understanding of the topic and offers an opinion as requested, but the development of ideas is limited and the specific examples provided are quite general. Expanding on the ideas with more detailed examples and a broader range of arguments will strengthen the response to the task. It would also be beneficial to directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree earlier in the essay, and remain more consistent with that stance throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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