How much has music influenced the way we think today? What do you think is key role of music in nowadays world?

#music #role #world

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays

music

Use synonyms

has a huge impact on

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

thoughts. What most

musicseans

Correct your spelling

musicians

do today is

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unfamiler

Correct your spelling

unfamiliar

things when they produce a new song. Songs have the

ablelty

Correct your spelling

ability

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

your way of thinking just by listening to

thim

Correct your spelling

them

. The

majoraty

Correct your spelling

majority

of people do not believe that can

realy

Correct your spelling

really

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

. And that

Linking Words

due

Add a missing verb

is due

show examples

to the

subconcens

Correct your spelling

subconcepts

effect.There is a recent study that

disucssed

Correct your spelling

discussed

discusses

the relation between

music

Use synonyms

and

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

thoughts

showed

Correct word choice

and showed

show examples

that

constent

Correct your spelling

constant

content

expose

Replace the word

exposure

show examples

music

Use synonyms

can change the way you think without

recocnas

Correct your spelling

recognise

it.

Muisc

Correct your spelling

Music

industry

todays

Change noun form

today's

show examples

aim is to make

large

Change the article

a large

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money. The easiest way to do

that is

Linking Words

producs

Correct your spelling

producing

something

unusal

Correct your spelling

unusual

to be easy to

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

and

made

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

new trends.

The modren

Correct article usage

Modren

show examples

music

Use synonyms

nowadays

are

Change the verb form

show examples

linked by

socali meadia

Correct your spelling

social media

platforms, so what muisecens tend to do a suitable songs that can used

Change preposition

show examples

platforms.

Change preposition

In inconclusion

show examples

Correct your spelling

conclusion

show examples

inconclusion

Correct your spelling

in conclusion

show examples

Use synonyms

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

industry

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

Correct your spelling

produce

produse

Correct your spelling

produce

strange songs, that

why

Add a missing verb

is why

show examples

you should be

awear

Correct your spelling

aware

about

Change preposition

show examples

what you listen

Change preposition

to is

show examples

important because it can change your thoughts.

Submitted by zx00154 on Tue Feb 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Focus on expanding your ideas more comprehensively. While you've touched on important aspects of music's influence on thinking, providing more detailed explanations and examples can greatly enhance clarity and engagement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within those paragraphs directly support that main idea. This will strengthen your essay's coherence and cohesion.

General

Work on your spelling and grammar. Errors (e.g., 'musicseans', 'unfamiler', 'majoraty') distract from your message and can confuse readers. Tools like spell checkers can help polish your writing.

Introduction & Conclusion

Including a more comprehensive conclusion could help reinforce your main points and provide a strong ending to your essay. Try summarizing your key arguments and reflect on the broader implications or suggest future considerations related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

167 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many believe that science’s main purpose is to make people’s lives better. I strongly agree with this statement since indeed, science is the gate to many facts that we know today and the fact that scientists nowadays continue to do their research based on scientific evidences.
7
band
More teenagers are now playing computer games in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing games?
In the modern era, due to technological advancements, the younger generation frequently dedicates their leisure time to a myriad of online gaming activities. Taking an overarching view, the prevalence of this pastime reveals significant drawbacks alongside relatively minor benefits. Notably, one major advantage lies in the potential for young individuals to enhance their technological proficiency, particularly in navigating computer systems. Conversely, the most substantial downside manifests as the detrimental impact on their mental and physical well-being.
7
band
Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.
In the contemporary era, people's perspectives on work have seen divergent views. Therefore the question of whether job satisfaction is more crucial than a high salary has become a matter of considerable debate. In my opinion, considering job satisfaction as a priority could provide enormous benefits compared to how much one earns.
5
band
Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
It is often said that the government should spend some budget for the development of the country on the railways more than roads. I agree with this statement because train tracks has more benefits services for large scale populations.
4.5
band
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the upcoming year, lots of individuals think that the growing using variety of technology such as computers and mobile phones is affecting negatively on young people’s writing and reading skills. Firstly, this essay will discuss, how machines can effect by negatively people’s abilities and secondly, the importance of using computers and phones.

How much has music influenced the way we think today? What do you think is key role of music in nowadays world?

Fully explain your ideas

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More teenagers are now playing computer games in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing games?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?