Some people believe that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views.

#people #children #musicians #athletes #music #sports

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It is often thought that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes.

However

, some people believe that they can be taught to succeed in music or sports. In

this

case, I prefer to agree with the second statement, saying that kids can be taught to succeed in nonacademic things.

This

essay will discuss the debatable issue given. A growing body of research suggests that parents give their loved ones knowledge in nonacademic things

such

as playing instruments or being in gymnastics, mainly because it can help children to grow their interests and talent.

Furthermore

such

talent can be used by them to win competitions and will result in their children's character development. It can

also

help them in entering college, they can submit their certificates for the college to consider them. The second point to emphasise is that art and sport are things that can be learned. Even though talents from within help them grow faster, there is no reason that they cannot be learned by practising and consistency. Talent only supports the development, not deciding the career of a musician or athlete.

For instance

, there is a chance that someone who has played piano since they were young get defeated by those who learned and practised later in life. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the second statement, mainly because

while

young kids are developing, they can be taught to master

Change preposition

apply

show examples

arts or even sports.

Hence

, I believe that by practising and consistency, they can

also

determine their success in their career.

Submitted by arrafiv on Tue Feb 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Provide a clearer, more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. Ensure equal treatment and development of each viewpoint.

Task Achievement

Integrate more specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned the role of practice and consistency, illustrating with real-life examples or studies would strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay with clear transitions and linking words to guide the reader through your discussion more smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve cohesion, try to link your ideas more clearly. Use phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' to show contrast or addition.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider revisiting your introduction and conclusion to ensure they are distinct but cohesive parts of your essay, with the conclusion summarizing and affirming your argument efficiently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Some people believe that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts- music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure,business and commercial purpose around the world over recent years. What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights? Do you think flight should be texted more?