Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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Some people have different opinions when it comes to having a
university
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education
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: well my take on
this
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is to have a
university
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education
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will give
the
Correct pronoun usage
you the
show examples
best advantage because
this
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gives you the foundation you need to proceed with your
carreer
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career
carrier
. At
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university
Add a comma
university,
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you
lears
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learn
different methods, programs and software already giving you
th
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the
start needed. At big
corporations
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corporations,
show examples
they usually ask
some
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for some
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sort of higher
education
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.
Although
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the
Correct article usage
a
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university
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education
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don'
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
t
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give the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
experience yet. Getting a
univrsity
Correct your spelling
university
education
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and
then
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start
Wrong verb form
starting
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your
carreer
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career
will
aotomatically
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automatically
give you the foundation you need to progress in life. If you're one of those
believeing
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believing
that you don'
t
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need
the
Correct article usage
a
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university
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education
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, I
gues
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guess
show examples
this
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is your own choice but what will you do, what software do you already
mastered
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master
show examples
,
what
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and what
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methods will you apply
.
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?
show examples
You will gain faster
experiece
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experience
that
Correct word choice
than
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the person sitting in
university
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for 4 years, you will learn the experience of most likely your dad. Let me tell you to move forward you need to progress with the system. Maybe you'll tell me of some rich person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
dont have a
university
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education
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and if he can do it you can, the
chanches
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change
is still because every person
have
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has
show examples
a different vision. Both
oportunities
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opportunities
requires
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require
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hard work, some people just don'
t
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like to study or just don'
t
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have the financial
cappacity
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capacity
to do so. Whatever you decide
this
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will require the right mindset, consistency and hard work.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents arguments for both viewpoints as well as your own opinion, which is good. However, it lacks a clear structure with distinctive introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, ensure your essay begins with an introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. Finish with a clear conclusion that summarises your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
To achieve better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Use paragraphing effectively to organize your essay into clear sections. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader. Additionally, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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