Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people have different opinions when it comes to having a
university
education
: well my take on
this
is to have a
university
education
will give
the
Correct pronoun usage
you the
show examples
best advantage because
this
gives you the foundation you need to proceed with your
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
. At
university
Add a comma
university,
show examples
you
lears
Correct your spelling
learn
different methods, programs and software already giving you
th
Correct your spelling
the
start needed. At big
corporations
Add a comma
corporations,
show examples
they usually ask
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
sort of higher
education
.
Although
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
education
don'
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
t
give the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
experience yet. Getting a
univrsity
Correct your spelling
university
education
and
then
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
your
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
will
aotomatically
Correct your spelling
automatically
give you the foundation you need to progress in life. If you're one of those
believeing
Correct your spelling
believing
that you don'
t
need
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
education
, I
gues
Correct your spelling
guess
show examples
this
is your own choice but what will you do, what software do you already
mastered
Change the verb form
master
show examples
,
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
methods will you apply
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
You will gain faster
experiece
Correct your spelling
experience
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
the person sitting in
university
for 4 years, you will learn the experience of most likely your dad. Let me tell you to move forward you need to progress with the system. Maybe you'll tell me of some rich person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
dont have a
university
education
and if he can do it you can, the
chanches
Correct your spelling
change
is still because every person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a different vision. Both
oportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
hard work, some people just don'
t
like to study or just don'
t
have the financial
cappacity
Correct your spelling
capacity
to do so. Whatever you decide
this
will require the right mindset, consistency and hard work.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents arguments for both viewpoints as well as your own opinion, which is good. However, it lacks a clear structure with distinctive introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, ensure your essay begins with an introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. Finish with a clear conclusion that summarises your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
To achieve better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Use paragraphing effectively to organize your essay into clear sections. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader. Additionally, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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