IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara Desert or Antarctica what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge

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In recent years, there has been an increasing trend of
tourists
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 visiting extreme and challenging places like the Sahara Desert or
Antarctica
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.
While
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such
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 adventures can be thrilling and educational, they
also
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 come with significant drawbacks. One key benefit of visiting difficult destinations is the unique experience they offer.
For instance
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, exploring the vast dunes of the Sahara Desert provides an opportunity to witness stunning landscapes and learn about the cultures of local tribes.
Similarly
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, a trip to
Antarctica
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 allows
tourists
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 to see rare wildlife like penguins and seals in their natural habitat. These experiences are not only memorable but
also
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 broaden the visitor’s understanding of the world. Another advantage is the sense of achievement and adventure. Many people enjoy pushing their limits and stepping out of their comfort zones.
For example
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, surviving harsh weather conditions or trekking through rugged terrain gives a feeling of accomplishment that cannot be achieved through regular vacations.
However
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, there are
also
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 notable disadvantages.
First,
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these trips are often expensive and require careful planning.
For example
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,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
Antarctica
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 involves costly permits, specialized clothing, and guided tours, making it inaccessible for many.
Second,
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such
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 destinations can pose health and safety risks. Extreme temperatures and a lack of medical facilities can be dangerous, especially for
tourists
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 who are unprepared. Another concern is the environmental impact of tourism
in
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on
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 fragile ecosystems.
For example
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, large numbers of
tourists
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 can disturb wildlife in
Antarctica
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 or cause damage to the delicate environment of deserts. In conclusion, visiting challenging places can be rewarding
due to
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 the unique experiences and personal growth they offer.
However
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, the high costs, potential risks, and environmental concerns should not be overlooked.
Travelers
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Travellers
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 must carefully weigh the benefits and disadvantages before embarking on
such
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 journeys.

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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating more on the examples provided. For instance, including specific cultural experiences in the Sahara or mentioning specific wildlife in Antarctica could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your structure is logical, ensuring smoother transitions between points can help. You might want to use linking phrases when moving from benefits to disadvantages to improve flow.
Task Achievement
You clearly articulated both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme places, showing a balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively summarize the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • cultural exposure
  • environmental awareness
  • risk
  • physical challenges
  • local economies
  • conservation
  • fragility
  • unique experiences
  • economic support
  • physical fitness
  • mental resilience
  • trekking
  • sustainability
  • infrastructure
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