schools should offer some type of physical education program to their students. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #offer #type #education #program #students

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There are individuals who hold the view that

students

Use synonyms

should have different types of physical educational programs in schools. I strongly agree with

this

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view in terms of strengthening

students

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' physical abilities and checking their physical and mental

health

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teachers

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Firstly

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, it is commonly known that playing different

sports

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significantly contributes to young

students

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' physical growth by approaching bodies and muscles to enhance physical energy in different ways.

Furthermore

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, regular exercise affects blood movement, thereby impacting their concentration and ability to memory. In practice,

due to

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the considerable effects on

students

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' growth and mentality, physical education classes, which offer different types of

sports

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such

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as football, swimming, and dance, persist as a mandatory curriculum in most educational institutions, including elementary schools and universities, for a remarkably long period.

Moreover

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while

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there are evidential positive effects on

students

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health

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, playing some types of

sports

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also

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significantly beneficial for

teachers

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, helping them become aware of

students

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' condition rapidly.

For example

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, a short marathon can notably indicate

students

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' energy levels by their running speed,

while

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dance provides useful information about

students

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' ability to memorise and concentrate through their dancing performance.

Consequently

Linking Words

teachers

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can check

students

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' performance levels throughout regular physical education classes with different

sports

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This

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awareness is significantly supportive for

teachers

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to improve both the physical and mental

health

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of their

students

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. In summary, I wholeheartedly agree with the argument that physical educational programs, which

varies

Correct subject-verb agreement

vary

show examples

in a distinct type of

sports

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, should take place in educational institutions. These programs can support not only

students

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but

also

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teachers

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, by enhancing physical and mental

health

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for nurturing well-being in school lives.

Submitted by taekojb77 on Tue Feb 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a clear and well-supported view on the importance of physical education programs in schools. To improve task response, ensure every argument directly addresses the question and offers detailed examples to illustrate points. Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is generally good, demonstrating a clear progression of ideas. To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on linking sentences more smoothly using a variety of transition words. This will further improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs and within them.

Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both concise and effectively summarise your viewpoint and the main arguments of your essay. Strengthen your conclusion to reinforce your viewpoint and summarise the key reasons supporting your stance, without introducing new information.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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schools should offer some type of physical education program to their students. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that parents should spend time on reading or telling stories to children, while others think parents no longer have to do this because there are other sources for stories such as books, TV, and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possibles solutions?

Some people feel that it is better to live in the city while others believe that life better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion?