schools should offer some type of physical education program to their students. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are individuals who hold the view that
students
should have different types of physical educational programs in schools. I strongly agree with
this
view in terms of strengthening
students
' physical abilities and checking their physical and mental
health
by
teachers
.
Firstly
, it is commonly known that playing different
sports
significantly contributes to young
students
' physical growth by approaching bodies and muscles to enhance physical energy in different ways.
Furthermore
, regular exercise affects blood movement, thereby impacting their concentration and ability to memory. In practice,
due to
the considerable effects on
students
' growth and mentality, physical education classes, which offer different types of
sports
,
such
as football, swimming, and dance, persist as a mandatory curriculum in most educational institutions, including elementary schools and universities, for a remarkably long period.
Moreover
,
while
there are evidential positive effects on
students
'
health
, playing some types of
sports
is
also
significantly beneficial for
teachers
, helping them become aware of
students
' condition rapidly.
For example
, a short marathon can notably indicate
students
' energy levels by their running speed,
while
dance provides useful information about
students
' ability to memorise and concentrate through their dancing performance.
Consequently
,
teachers
can check
students
' performance levels throughout regular physical education classes with different
sports
.
This
awareness is significantly supportive for
teachers
to improve both the physical and mental
health
of their
students
. In summary, I wholeheartedly agree with the argument that physical educational programs, which
varies
Correct subject-verb agreement
vary
show examples
in a distinct type of
sports
, should take place in educational institutions. These programs can support not only
students
but
also
teachers
, by enhancing physical and mental
health
for nurturing well-being in school lives.
Submitted by taekojb77 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear and well-supported view on the importance of physical education programs in schools. To improve task response, ensure every argument directly addresses the question and offers detailed examples to illustrate points. Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, demonstrating a clear progression of ideas. To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on linking sentences more smoothly using a variety of transition words. This will further improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs and within them.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both concise and effectively summarise your viewpoint and the main arguments of your essay. Strengthen your conclusion to reinforce your viewpoint and summarise the key reasons supporting your stance, without introducing new information.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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