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Band 4.5

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#computers #part #school #lessons #outweigh
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The use of technology has stirred differences in opinions among people.
While
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 one group feels multimedia or the use of computers can be beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young learners, others point out the harmful effects of the use of technology in the classroom and at home. In
this
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 essay, both opinions will be discussed in order to get a comprehensive insight into the matter.
While
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 computers are replacing the conventional methods of teaching, there are some factors that prevent
its
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their
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 wholehearted acceptance in education.
Firstly
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, easy ingress to computers and similar equipment may make the learners careless.
Instead
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 of using it to educate themselves, they might spend more time playing games and searching for unwanted information.
This
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 not only leads to addiction but
also
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 diverts the purpose of learning. It may
further
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 lead to health issues like obesity,
eyesight
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and eyesight
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 issues as the young ones will not
involve
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be involved
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 in physical activities.
Secondly
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, being a machine, the
computer
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 lacks the human touch that a teacher can provide. One may get loads of information from the internet through the
computer
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, but unlike a human educator, it will not be able to motivate the learner or develop skills like leadership, perseverance and teamwork.
Finally
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, using content from the
world wide web
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World Wide Web
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 on the
computer
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 without citing references or proper paraphrasing may lead to plagiarism.
On the other hand
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, using a
computer
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 can make teaching easy for the educator. The students are always interested in watching videos and listening to stories than reading a book. So, the teacher can show them videos related to the topic he/she is teaching and explain the concepts.
Moreover
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, using the internet on the
computer
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, a person can
accrue
Verb problem
acquire
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 knowledge on various topics he is interested in. He/she does not need to go out to a library and spend hours to get some particulars on the subject matter.
To conclude
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, I would like to say that
although
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 the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of using a
computer
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 in education,
this
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 mode of delivering enlightenment is being accepted gradually. One step that can be taken to ensure that
the
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apply
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young people do not misuse the access is to limit the time they spend on the machine and to keep track of what they can access.
Submitted by dilnurakari06 on

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Structure
Strengthen the essay structure by enhancing the introduction and conclusion. Aim for a more impactful and concise introduction that directly addresses the question. The conclusion should be more definitive, summarizing your stance clearly.
Coherence
Ensure a clear logical flow between ideas. Use transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
Support
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments effectively. This will increase the reliability and depth of your essay. Remember, quality over quantity in examples is key.
Balance
Aim for a balanced discussion in the main body paragraphs by dedicating similar levels of analysis and detail to both the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Response
Directly address the task by explicitly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make your stance clear to ensure a fully responsive task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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