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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. the past.Do you think this is a positive or negative?

#countries #people
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it is said that in some nations,
people
 have
choosed
Correct your spelling
chosen
show examples
 increasingly to live alone. I think it is a negative phenomenon. Today living alone is becoming a style, and more
people
 tend to it,
while
this
 choice may have a negative impact on their quality of life. When
people
 live alone, they may face many challenges, which cannot solve them without any family support. Financial
problems
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 an example of these challenges. Many young
people
as a result
 of skyrocketing housing
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 cannot have their own house, and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 have another choice only live in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 inappropriate house. When individuals live with other family members can be contributed by them. They may share their wealth for having a decent house and
finally
 having a better
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
In addition
, today
people
 deal with a lot of
problems
 and require to be
supportted
Correct your spelling
supported
 emotionally , in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
otherwise
 they may experience mental health
problems
. Family is the best place
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 members can share their disappointment and seek
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emotional support. When individuals choose
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 alone, they may lose
this
 chance.
This
 leads to the feeling of
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 and the lack of intimacy.
As a result
, individuals can experience emotional
problems
such
 as stress, anxiety, and even depression.
However
, living alone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 positive effects on
people
such
 as becoming independent, but I think
this
 new trend, which many
people
 in some countries are choosing, has negative effects on their quality of life and
makes
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 mental health
problems
.
Submitted by hg1984 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a clear logical structure for your arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples. This will help make your essay easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and your essay more compelling.
General English
Pay attention to your language accuracy and use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. This will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position regarding the topic, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively, ensuring that your argument is clear to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly
  • Accumulated wisdom
  • Tradition and history
  • Guidance
  • Family life
  • Cultural practices
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic productivity
  • Adaptable
  • Globalized societies
  • Physical attributes
  • Labor force
  • Economic growth
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