IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that classroom education provides broad exposure, while others say that distance education programmes provide a much broader span of knowledge and information. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#believe #classroom #education #exposure #distance #programmes #span #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The best way of educating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children has been a
debatabale
Correct your spelling
debatable
 topic for a long time.
While
Linking Words
 few people advocate that classroom-based
education
Use synonyms
 ensures more exposure to
knowledge
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, others assert that
distanced
Correct article usage
a distanced
show examples
 study
system
Use synonyms
 offers expertise in a
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
wider way. Both viewpoints represent merits,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, in my opinion, a balanced approach ensures holistic development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. Advocates of
in-person
Add an article
the in-person
an in-person
show examples
 form of
education
Use synonyms
 assert that a social environment,
such
Linking Words
 as
classroom
Correct article usage
a classroom
show examples
, cultivates different set of skill sets in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children.
For instance
Linking Words
, being surrounded by other individuals
foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
show examples
 a student's effective communication skills,
pesonality
Correct your spelling
personality
 development and
build
Verb problem
apply
show examples
competitive abilities. These skill sets are an essential part of the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 well-rounded development process.
Hence
Linking Words
, classroom-based
education
Use synonyms
 is a crucial part
during
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their learning stage and ensures a successful journey ahead for the
students
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, supporters of
long-distance
Correct article usage
the long-distance
show examples
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 argue that,
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many cases it is seen that, distance played a significant factor, playing a
road-blocker
Correct your spelling
roadblocker
show examples
 in their learning journey.
Such
Linking Words
 as,
students
Use synonyms
 hailing from villages, are unable to get to their school or college
due to
Linking Words
 distance.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, gaining proper
education
Use synonyms
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 a
life-long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
 dream for those individuals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, distance-based
education
Use synonyms
 ,
for example
Linking Words
, online study platforms,
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 from all over the world
seek
Fix the infinitive
to seek
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 from the best schools and universities and be successful in their lives, irrespective of the factor long-distance.
Such
Linking Words
 a movement cultivates a
borader
Correct your spelling
broader
border
knowledge
Use synonyms
 spectrum
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 belonging to different countries and unique cultures come together on a platform and have an opportunity to exchange different cultural beliefs among each other, fostering a
knowledge
Use synonyms
divesification
Correct your spelling
diversification
verification
. In conclusion, both viewpoints are justifiable,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, striking a balance between
distanced
Correct article usage
a distanced
show examples
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 and
classroom-based
Correct article usage
a classroom-based
show examples
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
,
foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
show examples
 a comprehensive approach to
education
Use synonyms
 which ensures individuals from both urban and rural areas get equal opportunities.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Education
Use synonyms
 must be accessible to all races of people
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that accessibility to
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is every individual's
birth right
Correct your spelling
birthright
show examples
.
Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To enhance your task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly. While you have discussed both views and given your opinion, integrating more specific examples from real life or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen your argument and make it more convincing. Aim to provide detailed examples that directly support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improving coherence and cohesion can be achieved by ensuring your ideas are well-organized and logically structured throughout the essay. While your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. This can involve using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To bolster your main points, it's beneficial to support them with more concrete and specific examples. This not only illustrates your points more vividly but also helps the reader understand and remember your arguments better. Whenever possible, tie your examples directly back to the question prompt to ensure relevance.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: