IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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Globalisation made the
world
 boundaries smaller and changed the way that people, companies and
countries
 tackled decisions. Through these changes it is possible to face many positive aspects in our actual
society
,
however
, they brought drawbacks as well, which have to be criticised and debated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 de
society
 in a try to relieve the problems. As the good side of globalisation, we can see that international communities are growing and good ideas are spread
thought
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
this
 reinforcement to help
countries
 which struggle with war and humanitarian problems.
Besides
 that, the possibility of international trade is feasible in
this
 era, when corporations can deal with others from different
countries
 enhancing job opportunities and negotiations.
On the other hand
, problems are growing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the the same velocity and becoming the social structure much more complex.
For example
, huge transformations in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 have been occurring
such
 as the wealth gap in underdeveloped
countries
, where many people suffer
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 malnourishment and lack of education and few individuals have too much money and resources.
In addition
, cultural homogenization is an aspect faced in a globalised
world
, where ideas, fashion, and culture are dictated by dominant nations.
To conclude
, as we can see, a global
world
 demands attention to try to minimize the effects of changes in diverse aspects of individual lives, but
also
 in a macro perspective. Unfortunately, the good side is followed by implications which have to be largely discussed by every single person
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
, since we have to be critical and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not close our eyes to the failures of
global
Add an article
the global
a global
show examples
world
.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. Your essay provides an in-depth discussion on globalization rather than focusing on the impact of the internet on newspapers as the prompt requested.
coherence and cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, begin with a clear introduction that directly responds to the essay prompt. Then, organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument, ensuring a logical flow from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed, specific examples. While you mention general consequences of globalization, relating your arguments to tangible examples or case studies can strengthen your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
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