The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram presents the process of converting
sugar
cane into
sugar
.
Overall
, the process includes 7 steps used for the manufacture, starting with the plant and leading to the
sugar
crystals itself.
Firstly
, it takes up to a year or 18 months for
sugar
cane to fully grow. After, the canes are fully grown they are harvested by chopping the plants either by hand or a machine. The third step includes
sugar
cane being processed into a machine which helps crush the plant to extract the juice out of the plant.
Next,
the resulting liquid is drained through a limestone filter which helps with purification and for the fifth step the juice is placed into an evaporator as the liquid converts into syrup. For the sixth step, the syrup is placed into a centrifuge to separate any remaining
sugar
crystals from the syrup.
Lastly
, the crystals are dried and cooled for their production and sale.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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