Government should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It's important to think about how the
government
spends its money. Some people think they should spend it on public services
. Others may argue that they should spend on art
. In my personal opinion, I think art
is essential for humans as a public service.
First,
the arts are as important to life as are other services
provided by the government
. This
is because different art
forms and styles such
as music, which help ease the stress of painting, are colorful
allowing us to immerse ourselves in the Change the spelling
colourful
colorful
world of the painting itself. Change the spelling
colourful
Furthermore
, a good work of art
is a sign of the level of civilization and creativity. the people of the country
. It can be said that it reflects the nature of the country
.
If a country
does not have art
, it shows that its people are not creative and lack basic
instincts of human nature. Correct article usage
the basic
On the other hand
, no one can deny the importance of public services
. The government
must allocate part of its funding to public services
such
as strengthening basic education, the health care system and the country
's infrastructure. country
. But if all spending goes to public services
, it will cause an imbalance in the country
's structure, and taxpayers will be angry because old tax money is only spent in one way.
In conclusion, it can be reiterated that the government
is responsible for allocating part of the money to public services
, while
the rest must go to creative fields such
as the arts. This
is intended to create a more balanced society.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the importance of art as a public service. However, to strengthen your response, it would be beneficial to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas. For instance, provide specific examples or case studies that illustrate the importance of art in society or how government funding for the arts has positively impacted communities.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is fully developed. Your second paragraph starts strong but can be clearer on the distinctions between the different points. Additionally, link your points more effectively to avoid any confusion or repetition.
structure
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely.
content
You successfully highlight the importance of both arts and public services, showing that you understand the complexity of the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite