Government should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It's important to think about how the
government
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spends its money. Some people think they should spend it on public
services
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. Others may argue that they should spend on
art
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. In my personal opinion, I think
art
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is essential for humans as a public service.
First,
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the arts are as important to life as are other
services
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provided by the
government
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.
This
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is because different
art
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forms and styles
such
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as music, which help ease the stress of painting, are
colorful
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colourful
show examples
allowing us to immerse ourselves in the
colorful
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colourful
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world of the painting itself.
Furthermore
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, a good work of
art
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is a sign of the level of civilization and creativity. the people of the
country
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. It can be said that it reflects the nature of the
country
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. If a
country
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does not have
art
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, it shows that its people are not creative and lack
basic
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the basic
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instincts of human nature.
On the other hand
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, no one can deny the importance of public
services
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. The
government
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must allocate part of its funding to public
services
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such
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as strengthening basic education, the health care system and the
country
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's infrastructure.
country
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. But if all spending goes to public
services
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, it will cause an imbalance in the
country
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's structure, and taxpayers will be angry because old tax money is only spent in one way. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that the
government
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is responsible for allocating part of the money to public
services
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,
while
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the rest must go to creative fields
such
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as the arts.
This
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is intended to create a more balanced society.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the importance of art as a public service. However, to strengthen your response, it would be beneficial to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas. For instance, provide specific examples or case studies that illustrate the importance of art in society or how government funding for the arts has positively impacted communities.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is fully developed. Your second paragraph starts strong but can be clearer on the distinctions between the different points. Additionally, link your points more effectively to avoid any confusion or repetition.
structure
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely.
content
You successfully highlight the importance of both arts and public services, showing that you understand the complexity of the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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