Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst other believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Numerous individuals believe that teaching
music
in schools has crucial importance. Others think that
this
is just a time-wasting. I agree with the first opinion, and in
this
essay, I am planning to analyse both points of view and give a few examples. In my way of thinking, teaching
music
in educational
centers
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centres
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fosters a true cultural taste
of
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in
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young people, helps them to feel the beauty of the world, and enriches their worldview.
Additionally
, students get plenty of
such
skills as high memory abilities,
analytical
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an analytical
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mind, the precise feel of rhythms, and widened mathematical skills. Obviously, all the mentioned abilities will be highly useful in pupils' future lives.
For example
, it is a proven fact that those who are good at
music
easily become strong mathematicians. I am convinced, that these aspects make the inclusion of
music
learning in the curriculum highly required. Needless to say, that
music
is not for everyone. The person who has the intention to be involved in
this
amazing and unique world should have certain predispositions and a kind of fondness.
That is
why numerous parents, who do not see any trend in their kids, do not intend to develop musical abilities in their children. It is just the time and funds wasted in their understanding.
For instance
, schools need to have specially equipped rooms with instruments, headsets and other equipment. Investments for these purposes could be spent another way. As an objection, talks about time waiting seem strange to
me
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me,
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as pupils mostly waste their free time on computer games, and I think that
this
is not a proper choice for them. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe, that if we want to have
intelligent
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an intelligent
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,
and
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apply
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well-mannered and tasteful generation, we will not deprive our children of the pleasure of being part of the wonderful world called
music
, and we will not save on resources and funds for proper education.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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Task Achievement
Develop your points with more specific examples and data to support your arguments. For instance, mention studies or statistics to back up claims about music improving mathematical skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the variety and complexity of sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Practice combining sentences and using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentence structures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
General
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, ensuring a polished and professional final piece.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • instilling
  • discipline
  • team work
  • emotional intelligence
  • stress relief
  • well-rounded
  • allocated
  • STEM subjects
  • practical
  • job market
  • detract
  • core subjects
  • enhance
  • cognitive functions
  • curriculum
  • vital
  • enriching
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