Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst other believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Numerous individuals believe that teaching

music

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in schools has crucial importance. Others think that

this

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is just a time-wasting. I agree with the first opinion, and in

this

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essay, I am planning to analyse both points of view and give a few examples. In my way of thinking, teaching

music

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in educational

centers

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centres

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fosters a true cultural taste

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young people, helps them to feel the beauty of the world, and enriches their worldview.

Additionally

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, students get plenty of

such

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skills as high memory abilities,

analytical

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an analytical

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mind, the precise feel of rhythms, and widened mathematical skills. Obviously, all the mentioned abilities will be highly useful in pupils' future lives.

For example

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, it is a proven fact that those who are good at

music

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easily become strong mathematicians. I am convinced, that these aspects make the inclusion of

music

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learning in the curriculum highly required. Needless to say, that

music

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is not for everyone. The person who has the intention to be involved in

this

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amazing and unique world should have certain predispositions and a kind of fondness.

That is

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why numerous parents, who do not see any trend in their kids, do not intend to develop musical abilities in their children. It is just the time and funds wasted in their understanding.

For instance

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, schools need to have specially equipped rooms with instruments, headsets and other equipment. Investments for these purposes could be spent another way. As an objection, talks about time waiting seem strange to

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me,

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as pupils mostly waste their free time on computer games, and I think that

this

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is not a proper choice for them. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe, that if we want to have

intelligent

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an intelligent

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and

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apply

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well-mannered and tasteful generation, we will not deprive our children of the pleasure of being part of the wonderful world called

music

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, and we will not save on resources and funds for proper education.

ruben.kirakosyan

Feb 15, 2024

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Task Achievement

Develop your points with more specific examples and data to support your arguments. For instance, mention studies or statistics to back up claims about music improving mathematical skills.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the variety and complexity of sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Practice combining sentences and using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentence structures.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.

General

Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, ensuring a polished and professional final piece.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental
instilling
discipline
team work
emotional intelligence
stress relief
well-rounded
allocated
STEM subjects
practical
job market
detract
core subjects
enhance
cognitive functions
curriculum
vital
enriching

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Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst other believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of these two education systems and which is better?

: Some people say in other to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

People produce more garbage than in the past. Explain how it is affecting us and the measures that could be taken to address the situation. Provide specific examples and explanation to support your answer.