You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. There is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter: Say what the problem is. Describe the accommodation you thought you were getting. Ask the provider to solve the problem.

#course #country #accommodation #provider

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Sai, I am writing

this

letter to express my disappointment regarding the accommodation provided by your provider. I am facing difficulties with the accommodation and it does not align with the features mentioned in the email provided. I was told of a single room and a shared washroom with two other girls.

However

, it turned out to be sharing a room with four students. The email

also

mentioned

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the appliances included

such

as the air conditioner, study table, and bed frame. I thought the accommodation was inside the campus in the other building and I did not need to travel. I would like you to provide me individual room and make sure it is not far from the college premises. I am new to Canada and it will take some time for me to wander the city before I can take public transport and make new friends. Thank you for your consideration, I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Sai

Submitted by sunj on Thu Feb 15 2024

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task response

To enhance your score in the task response category, ensure that your letter is exhaustive in covering all the points of the prompt. You've clearly mentioned the problem and what you were expecting, which is positive. However, a more detailed description of how this situation affects your study or daily life could create a stronger case for the urgency and necessity of solving the accommodation problem. This can help you elevate your score even further.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your letter demonstrates a clear structure, but there are areas for improvement. Try to link ideas more smoothly between paragraphs by using a range of transitional phrases beyond 'However,'. This can help guide your reader through your argument more effortlessly. Additionally, aim to keep paragraphs focused on a single idea, ensuring each paragraph builds upon the last in a logical sequence. This nuanced approach to structuring your letter can refine your writing for a higher score.

greeting and closing

Ensuring that your letter opens and closes appropriately is vital. You've done well by addressing 'Dear Sir/Madam' and ending with 'Sincerely,' which aligns with the formal tone appropriate for this context. To further refine your greeting and closing, consider tailoring it slightly if you know the recipient's name or position, as this can add a personal touch while maintaining formality.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

167 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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