IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. There is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter: Say what the problem is. Describe the accommodation you thought you were getting. Ask the provider to solve the problem.

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Sai, I am writing
this
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 letter to express my disappointment regarding the accommodation provided by your provider. I am facing difficulties with the accommodation and it does not align with the features mentioned in the email provided. I was told of a single room and a shared washroom with two other girls.
However
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, it turned out to be sharing a room with four students. The email
also
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 mentioned
about
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apply
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the appliances included
such
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 as the air conditioner, study table, and bed frame. I thought the accommodation was inside the campus in the other building and I did not need to travel. I would like you to provide me individual room and make sure it is not far from the college premises. I am new to Canada and it will take some time for me to wander the city before I can take public transport and make new friends. Thank you for your consideration, I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Sai

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task response
To enhance your score in the task response category, ensure that your letter is exhaustive in covering all the points of the prompt. You've clearly mentioned the problem and what you were expecting, which is positive. However, a more detailed description of how this situation affects your study or daily life could create a stronger case for the urgency and necessity of solving the accommodation problem. This can help you elevate your score even further.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your letter demonstrates a clear structure, but there are areas for improvement. Try to link ideas more smoothly between paragraphs by using a range of transitional phrases beyond 'However,'. This can help guide your reader through your argument more effortlessly. Additionally, aim to keep paragraphs focused on a single idea, ensuring each paragraph builds upon the last in a logical sequence. This nuanced approach to structuring your letter can refine your writing for a higher score.
greeting and closing
Ensuring that your letter opens and closes appropriately is vital. You've done well by addressing 'Dear Sir/Madam' and ending with 'Sincerely,' which aligns with the formal tone appropriate for this context. To further refine your greeting and closing, consider tailoring it slightly if you know the recipient's name or position, as this can add a personal touch while maintaining formality.
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