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Band 7

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggests?

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Introduction
A rapid growth in stress-related sicknesses is being observed.
This
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essay
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 will discuss not only bad
diet
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 habits but
also
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 the lack of
exercise
Use synonyms
 that has been causing the problems.
This
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essay
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 will suggest solutions including maintaining a healthy
diet
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 and regular
exercise
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.
Body paragraph 1
Human beings have been compromising on their food and fitness for a long time. Since there is a lot of competition in every walk of life, people are working longer hours under pressure
due to
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 which they are unable to spare an adequate amount of time for meals and physical activities.
For example
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, to meet the deadlines ordering fast food and cold drinks is quite common without any proper schedule.
Moreover
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, after exhausting
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
 nobody cares about working out.
Therefore
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, extended work hours push towards a hectic routine.
Body paragraph 2
People can take care of well well-being by following a proper
diet
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 and and regular
exercise
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. To lead a happy life a proper routine is required to maintain.
For example
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, eating meals three times a day
along with
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 fruits can help to curb the appetite which is
otherwise
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 not possible because skipping a meal leads to overeating later on.
Furthermore
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, indulging in brisk walking, jogging, and running can unwind the mind and burn calories.
Thus
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, healthy food and physical activity can turn lives towards happiness.
Conclusion
In conclusion, stress-related illnesses are growing at a fast pace.
This
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essay
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 discussed the root causes are bad
diet
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 patterns and unable to work out.
This
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essay
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 suggested following regular meals
along with
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exercise
Use synonyms
 to get well.

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Grammatical Accuracy
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Vocabulary Enhancement
Consider diversifying your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to accurately convey nuanced meanings. A richer lexicon will improve the sophistication of your essay and better engage your reader.
Paragraph Structure
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • job demands
  • work-related stress
  • societal pressure
  • achieve success
  • erosion
  • work-life balance
  • exposure
  • negative news
  • social media comparisons
  • chronic stress
  • mental health support
  • stigma
  • flexible work hours
  • stress management techniques
  • mindfulness
  • access to mental health services
  • community support systems
  • emotional support
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