Some people believe that zoos have no place in the modern society, while others claim zoos are good places which are often used for beneficial purposes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals claim that
zoos
are not needed in the contemporary world, Use synonyms
whereas
an opposing group of people believe that Linking Words
zoos
can be advantageous and must be used. Use synonyms
This
essay will Linking Words
Linking Words
firstly
discuss the drawbacks of Change the word
first
zoos
that can ruin their reputation. Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
this
piece of work will discuss how Linking Words
zoos
could be used in positive ways.
Many Use synonyms
zoos
around the world have been criticized for the way they treat wild Use synonyms
animals
. Most experts claim that Use synonyms
zoos
are keeping the Use synonyms
animals
in captivity, which means they cannot enjoy the freedom and being in their natural habitats. Use synonyms
For instance
, lions always live in savannahs, but some Northern Countries can have them in cages. Linking Words
In addition
to keeping Linking Words
animals
in restricted areas, one more negative point that must be mentioned here is the cruelty, that the visitors of Use synonyms
zoos
show towards Use synonyms
animals
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, numerous individuals believe Linking Words
zoos
do have a place in the modern worldUse synonyms
,
since they can be used in beneficial ways. Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, Linking Words
zoos
can be used as a venue for saving endangered species. Use synonyms
This
is particularly essential knowing that not all the rare Linking Words
animals
are able to survive on their own, as poaching has made it difficult for them to survive. Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
zoos
are Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
the
places where people can get closer to Correct article usage
apply
animals
and know more about them, which means Use synonyms
zoos
could be understood to have an educational value.
In conclusion, in my view, Use synonyms
zoos
are needed, but rules and regulations must be strict. Use synonyms
For example
, wild Linking Words
animals
should not be kept in cages in Use synonyms
the
countries where the climate is not suitable for them. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, even if they are in captivity, the areas which they are given must be somehow similar to their natural habitats.Linking Words
Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on
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task achievement
Although the essay presents both views and a conclusion with the candidate's opinion, which meets the requirements of the task, there is room for further development and expansion of ideas to fully satisfy the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows an attempt to organize ideas and paragraphs logically, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the link between the main points and supporting details can be strengthened.
task achievement
To gain a higher score, the candidate should aim to provide more detailed examples to support their points and develop their arguments more thoroughly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?