Many children are in encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing so?

Many
students
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are persuaded by their guardians to engage in part-
time
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employment
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during their free
time
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.
Although
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such
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work
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provides valuable practical
experience
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, it can
also
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result in insufficient
time
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for academic pursuits. One significant drawback of
students
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taking up part-
time
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jobs is the potential decline in their academic performance
due to
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insufficient
time
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for studies.
This
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is mainly because learners are often required to manage household responsibilities alongside part-
time
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work
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after school hours.
As a result
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, they struggle to devote adequate
time
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and concentration to their academic tasks.
For example
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, one of my friends worked part-
time
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throughout his college years, which limited his academic achievements and ultimately prevented him from meeting the educational requirements needed to secure a managerial position in a reputed company.
Therefore
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,
this
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example clearly highlights the potential disadvantages of
students
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engaging in part-
time
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employment
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during their spare
time
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. Despite
this
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drawback, a notable benefit of
students
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engaging in part-
time
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work
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is the valuable
experience
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they gain.
Such
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jobs are often temporary and require individuals to adapt to different situations, which helps them develop practical skills
such
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as
time
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management, communication, and responsibility.
Consequently
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, the knowledge and exposure gained through part-
time
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employment
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can significantly improve their employability.
This
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is mainly because many recruiters prefer candidates with prior
work
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experience
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, as it reduces the need for extensive basic training and supervision.
For instance
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, I worked part-
time
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while
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pursuing my studies, which later strengthened my professional profile and helped me secure a position at a reputable firm.
This
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example demonstrates how part-
time
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employment
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can contribute to long-term career stability. In conclusion,
while
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part-
time
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work
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offers
students
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practical
experience
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and skill development, it can
also
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negatively affect their academic performance
due to
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limited study
time
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.

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Task Response
To improve task response, make your view clear from the start and stay with it. Give a stronger link between your ideas and the question. Add one more precise example that fits the point you make.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, start each paragraph with a clear topic idea. Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next. Keep sentences shorter and use one main idea per paragraph.
Task Response
The essay has a clear layout: intro, two body sections, and a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of link words like 'Despite this drawback' and 'Consequently' to show ideas flow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
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