Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV, and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

Recently, traditional books
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
studying equipment in the academy. Nowadays, the growth of technology leads to behaviour adaptation who live collaboratively with multimedia resources like students in kindergarten. Some people believe that technology should replace traditional
materials
in educational institutions,
although
there is
also
an argument that opposes it. In
this
essay, I will examine both of these aspects in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are advantages of replacement by machinery in the centre of learning, including driving force in their children. Physical
materials
increase boredom in teenagers.
Thus
, interesting media
such
as firms, TV, and video games could stay personal motivation and stimulate development. Not only driving student force but
also
boosting their performance which enhances their understanding of complex subjects.
Consequently
, using technology-related studies increases pupil's efficiency in phrontistery.
On the other hand
, advocates of another opinion claim that studying with traditional books is accessible for everybody. There were areas lacking those
materials
for the study where they could not afford the cost of it. They got a lot of books from various countries for developing critical thinking and analytical skills.
In addition
, the light screen on those
materials
damages their eyes when they spend most of their time on digital devices. So, using modern automation
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
has disadvantages. In conclusion, the advantages of replacing textbooks are boosting performance and driving their force resulting in greater productivity.
However
, there are negative effects which reduce their study’s ability. Totally
substituted
Wrong verb form
substituting
show examples
for technology in a long-term exercise, apply could affect their efficiency
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
class
Add an article
the class
a class
show examples
which outweighs its advantages. In a smart world, they could choose ways which balance things to bring high benefits to themselves.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt broadly, but needs to more directly engage with the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. Make your stance clear early in your essay and consistently support this viewpoint throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but sometimes the flow between ideas can be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices like linking words or phrases to better connect your paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
While you provide examples to support your points, these can be more specific and directly related to the thesis. Try to include real-life examples, statistics, or studies to make your arguments more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multimedia resources
  • captivating
  • complex subjects
  • visual and auditory stimuli
  • digitalized future
  • technological skills
  • cultivate
  • imagination
  • concentration
  • depth and detail
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • disparities in education
  • tangible experience
  • continuous learning
  • personal development
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!