IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #moment #deforestation #impact #world
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According to
 some people, global warming is the major dilemma of the
planet
,
while
 other individuals claim that deforestation has irreparable negative effects. My personal opinion is that these two are directly related and not separate, so both are equally dangerous for the
planet
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
following
Add a comma
following,
show examples
 I will provide
further
 details and reasons. In today's world,
due to
 various reasons;
such
 as climate change, human activities, fossil fuels
also
 greenhouse gases, the temperature of the earth has risen.
As a result
 of global warming, unfortunate events like the loss of some species,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in diseases,
as well as
 droughts and food shortages are happening. Each of the mentioned cases in turn is considered a huge threat to the life of the
planet
.
According to
 statistics, 30% of the earth's surface is currently covered by forests
however
 In recent years
due to
 the expansion of industries;
such
a s
Correct your spelling
as
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 agriculture, animal husbandry
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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 the production of wood products, the destruction of forests has
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
raised
 up.
It is clear that
 trees play a crucial role in regulating the temperature of the
planet
due to
 the production of oxygen. Among the dangers that threaten the
planet
 with the destruction of forests,
can mention
Verb problem
are
show examples
 the creation of extreme temperature fluctuations, the destruction of the habitat of plants and animals,
as well as
 the disruption of the earth's water cycle.
To sum up
, deforestation is one of the causes of global warming,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as mentioned at the beginning of the article, these two things are related and each of them is a real threat to the future of life and the
planet
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to discuss both views comprehensively before providing your personal opinion. Expand on how each view supports its stance with more nuanced examples and experts' opinions.
Coherence and Cohesion
To increase clarity, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the question posed. Additionally, integrate a variety of linking words to smoothly transition between ideas.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific, real-world examples or case studies to strengthen your argument. This not only demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic but also makes your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse effect
  • Industrial emissions
  • Sea levels
  • Extreme weather events
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Paris Climate Accord
  • Carbon cycle
  • Soil erosion
  • Water cycles
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Reforestation
  • Sustainable forest management
  • Indigenous communities
  • Localized impacts
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