IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You travelled by a long distance bus recently and your suitcase was damaged. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter •Inform the bus company of when and to where you travelled •Describe your suitcase and what happened to it •Explain why the company should pay for a new suitcase

#distance #bus #suitcase #company #•inform #•describe #•explain
Dear Sir/Madam, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health. I am Sthevani, one of your customers that used your Bus service provided by your company. I am writing
this
 to inform you about the damage to my suitcase after I used the service.
Firstly
, allow me to give you the details. I travelled to Bogor on January 21st from Bandung. I ordered my ticket through your website and my ticket number is JR2002, my departure was at 2 PM and my arrival was at 4 PM. After I arrived at Bandung, I found out that something happened to my suitcase because it looked defective. It has a bright blue colour so I can clearly see the damage caused by the irresponsible staff on the body parts.
Also
, the wheels are broken so I have to lift the luggage
while
 walking.
Nevertheless
, I suggest you investigate
this
 and how it can happen and I would appreciate it if you were willing to
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
 for giving a replacement since it looks impossible to repair. I look forward to hearing an update to
this
 letter with a piece of good news. Best regards, Sandra
Submitted by keziahelen02 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction, development, and conclusion in your letter for better structure and logical flow. Consider using connecting words to link ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, diversify your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your letter more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to specify the type and extent of damage in detail, as well as clearly argue why the company should be responsible for the replacement, to fully meet the task requirements.
task achievement
Use a suitable and consistent tone throughout the letter. A formal tone is appropriate for this context, but strive to maintain it consistently with the choice of words and phrases.
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