The maps below show a science park in the 2008 and the same park today.

The maps below show a science park in the 2008 and the same park today.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The maps below show a science park in the 2008 and the same park today.
The provided map compares a science park in 2008 and the same park at present after modernisation.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that during the development all the grasslands had disappeared,
while
Linking Words
some new facilities were replaced
such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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station and business units. On the one hand, in the south of the outline, an innovation centre occupy the previous IT centre's place and a new station was added in the middle of the railway.
In addition
Linking Words
, development led to an increase in size in cyber security
as well as
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the car park, number of trees in
this
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part has not changed.
Moreover
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, a new bus stop was located at the east of the graph below the new cycle path.
On the other hand
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, the north of the map has been equipped with some new places. Precisely, a big segment was dedicated to the research and development department, where grassland has existed before.
Furthermore
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, the offices
remained
Wrong verb form
remain
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to
Change preposition
apply
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now
while
Linking Words
the bottom of the reception part has been modified to a university hub.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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