Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In the

last

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decades, smart facilities especially

smartphones

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have developed significantly. They've got attractive features for different age groups and become more user-friendly as it goes.

Children

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are not the expectations in

this

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situation and the number of them who use

smartphones

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for lots of hours has increased significantly. In my view,

this

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can lead to harmful effects on kids' health conditions. In

this

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essay, I will examine the reasons behind it and introduce my point of view.

Firstly

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, as an architect, I strongly believe that building developments and turning villa-type houses into apartments is one of the most important key issues in regard to the situation. To build upon my point a little more, by the appearance of apartments and cities with minimum numbers of public open spaces or playgrounds,

children

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are forced to stay at home.

Consequently

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, they should spend their leisure time playing online

games

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, board

games

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, and other mind-based ones.

Smartphones

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would respond to their needs in

such

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an appealing way.

On the other hand

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, with the development of technology, virtual

games

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have grown and the number of them has increased notably.

As a result

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, when

children

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have access to a wide range of online

games

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easily without any restrictions, of course, they become addicted to it and allocate a significant period of time to it. In my view,

Although

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virtual

games

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can bring lots of joy and can be educative in some cases, kids need time to spend in nature and communicate with real people directly in order to improve their creativity and social skills.

for instance

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, when they play in a park, they should interact with their friends when using playground facilities and by doing so their conversation or teamwork skills will improve.

In addition

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, virtual surfaces of phones would harm their health seriously , especially their eyes and brain. To put it in a nutshell, urban developments and changes in the typology of residential buildings have affected the type of

games

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and made

children

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stay at home and play with

smartphones

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which can be really harmful.

shabnamoutokeshFri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs have clear and specific main ideas, and that each idea is expanded upon with adequate support. Avoid introducing new points without fully developing them.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the essay's structure and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and directly answers the essay question.

coherence cohesion

Each main point should be supported by specific examples or evidence. Make sure that the examples provided clearly relate to the topic and bolster your arguments.

task achievement

Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences that expand on the topic. Ensure the response maintains a clear focus throughout.

task achievement

Include comprehensive ideas and fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that the positive or negative effects of smartphone use among children are discussed thoroughly.

task achievement

Provide relevant and specific examples to support each point. Make sure examples are directly related to the topic and illustrate your viewpoint clearly.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

As smoking is banned at public places , some people say that this rule should also be imposed on mobile phones. What extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Tourism is a modern form of colonialism. It distorts local economies, causes environmental damage, ruins the places it exploits. To what extent do you agree?