In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that in some places in the world,
people
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need to be far away from their folks in order to find jobs.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that there are many advantages of moving away, there is
also
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an argument that there are many downsides in
this
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regard.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, moving away from their
people
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may help them to find better opportunities, which are not available in their cities.
In other words
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, some places suffer from a bad economic condition and the best solution for
this
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,
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apply
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is to go away to another place that has better chances to get a good job.
For example
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, recently in my country, a lot of
people
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have moved to the capital city because it has promising job opportunities with higher salaries than any other city in the state.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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do not like moving far away from their beloved families, because
this
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makes them feel loneliness. It is
also
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possible to say that, they tend to feel homesick and
this
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affects their mental health which makes them unable to work.
For instance
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, my friend's housemaid, who had come from another country, felt depressed after being apart from her children and could not work. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance ,
however
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, I tend to believe that the advantages of
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subject outweigh the drawbacks because
people
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should seek better chances in other places even though it will make them separate from their friends and families.
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task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on each point to fully explore the depth of your argument. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a seamless transition between your ideas to maintain a smooth flow, improving the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support the main points, which strengthen your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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