In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development

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There is no denying the fact that in some places in the world,

people

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need to be far away from their folks in order to find jobs.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that there are many advantages of moving away, there is

also

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an argument that there are many downsides in

this

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regard.

This

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essay will analyse

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, moving away from their

people

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may help them to find better opportunities, which are not available in their cities.

In other words

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, some places suffer from a bad economic condition and the best solution for

this

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is to go away to another place that has better chances to get a good job.

For example

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, recently in my country, a lot of

people

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have moved to the capital city because it has promising job opportunities with higher salaries than any other city in the state.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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do not like moving far away from their beloved families, because

this

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makes them feel loneliness. It is

also

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possible to say that, they tend to feel homesick and

this

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affects their mental health which makes them unable to work.

For instance

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, my friend's housemaid, who had come from another country, felt depressed after being apart from her children and could not work. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance ,

however

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, I tend to believe that the advantages of

this

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subject outweigh the drawbacks because

people

Use synonyms

should seek better chances in other places even though it will make them separate from their friends and families.

Submitted by YT on Sun Jan 19 2025

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task achievement

Try to elaborate a bit more on each point to fully explore the depth of your argument. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a seamless transition between your ideas to maintain a smooth flow, improving the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples that support the main points, which strengthen your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession of if they should adapt pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

2. The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there are any disadvantages of relying on technology at work?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?