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Band 4.5

Some people argue that technological interventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #interventions #phones
Nowadays, some
people
 think that technological
interventions
 will make
people
 less socially interactive. In my opinion, I think technological
interventions
 will not increase the distance between
people
. There are several reasons
people
 think technological
interventions
such
 as mobile
phones
 will make
people
 socially less interactive.
First,
mobile
phones
 cause
people
 socially less interactive because of
internet
 addiction.
People
 would like to spend more time on mobile
phones
 because the
internet
 is more interesting and it makes them happy, so
people
 will prefer to play on their
phones
 during meetings.
Second,
social media has become more and more popular,
people
 chat on the
Internet
 so they will hang out less. In my opinion, I think mobile
phones
 will not increase the distance between
people
. One reason is that
people
 can have more conversations on the
Internet
. Some
people
 think mobile
phones
 make
people
 less socially interactive because they do not have a conversation, they don't know what should talk and feel awkward. The second reason is that mobile
phones
 will make
people
 feel insecure. When
people
 want to talk about something privacy they are afraid of other screenshots
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 conversation, so
people
 would like to talk face to face. In conclusion, some
people
 think technological
interventions
 will make
people
 socially less interactive. But in my opinion, mobile
phones
 will not increase the distance between
people
.
Submitted by vickychen941008 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure your essay addresses the question directly. Clearly stating whether you agree or disagree, followed by a succinct explanation enhances clarity. Use specific examples to support your viewpoint more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, organize your ideas more clearly. Begin with a strong introduction, followed by body paragraphs that each introduce a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Transition smoothly between paragraphs to maintain flow. In your conclusion, summarize your key points succinctly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological interventions
  • socially less interactive
  • face-to-face interactions
  • meaningful relationships
  • illusion of connectivity
  • superficial interactions
  • genuine social engagement
  • dependency
  • social skills
  • empathy
  • understanding
  • geographically separated
  • social network
  • immediate physical boundaries
  • organizing social events
  • nuanced
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