Living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opinion asserting that citizens'
health
are threatened by living a life in large
cities
. I agree fully wholeheartedly with
this
notion.
This
essay will explain reasons to support my idea. Considering
firstly
the most important reason which is pollution and plays a vital role in the level of
health
. The reason for
this
is that big
cities
are more likely to provide most of the sorts of pollution in terms of air, water, noise which are all harmful to individuals.
In other words
, as the population are on the rise in
such
cities
, the amount of produced waste and noises which are made is significanly more in comparison with smaller towns.
Consequently
, the likhood of diseases and medical conditions rises ,
for example
, food poisonous, respiratory diseases. Another vital concern that should be taken into account is that many of resdidents in big
cities
tend to have an unhealthy eating habit and inactive lifestyle. The reason for
this
is that they are usuaslly busy bees since living in
such
crowded
cities
make them to work hard so they do not have adequate time to devote to cooking meals or biking ro walking to their destinations. As the result they might have more tendency to order fatty and sugar rich food and using public transportation which increases diet related
health
problems and an inactive lifestyle. In conclusion, I would almost completely argue that these
cities
could be detrimental to members of society's
health
due to
some sorts of pollutions and poor leve of
health
wich arises from lack of activity and healthy diet.
Submitted by shamim1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
It's crucial to proofread your writing to catch and correct spelling and grammatical errors. Mistakes such as 'citizens' health are' instead of 'citizens' health is' or 'food poisonous' instead of 'food poisoning' can detract from your overall credibility.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address the topic fully. While you have presented a clear stance, expanding your argument with more varied examples and perhaps acknowledging the opposing viewpoint could enrich your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring clear and logical progression of ideas. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, try to vary your sentence structure and use synonyms to avoid repetition. This will make your writing more dynamic and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: