In many countries, governments spemd large amounts of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however think that this money would be better spent on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.

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We see that many countries especially situated in Asia, focus more on health and education rather than arts.
This
is because it is backed by the people paying taxes in those areas. I strongly agree with
this
viewpoint and will discuss it in detail in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, Governments in many countries are limited in spending their money and they prioritize their tasks
accordingly
. The most important factor in the eyes of the state is to save human lives and provide them with education for a better future. Individuals are struggling to find jobs that pay well and fulfil their necessities which could be achieved if they have the right knowledge and are physically fit.
For example
, in Canada, scholarships are being granted to students who opt for Masters studies and do some research in their field.
Also
, I believe, the initiative taken by the state to support the educational system is helping the technological advancement in the utilization of limited resources available in a better way.
Secondly
, health and education directly affect the individual's life
whereas
Arts only contribute to the leisure part of one's life.
This
means that if a person is feeling sick could face severe consequences if not being treated and if one is not properly informed could end up being dependent on others for his livelihood which is not the case with having lack of artistic activities.
For example
, during the pandemic government provided health assistance and subsidies to save lives and prioritized saving people
above all
other factors.
To conclude
, it is considered to the benefit of the state that the folks are both physically and mentally healthy. To
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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it, they spent the most money on upgrading their departments that provide
such
assistance and not on leisure artistic stuff.
Submitted by mannadarshpal13 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction is clearer and provides a succinct overview of what each paragraph will discuss. This can help the reader understand your main points from the onset.
complete response
Work on providing more balance in your argument. While you support the idea of spending on health and education, also briefly discuss the opposing viewpoint in more detail to show a well-rounded understanding.
introduction conclusion present
Extend your conclusion to succinctly summarize your main points and restate why, based on the arguments presented, you hold your position.
logical structure
Improve flow by using more varied linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs more seamlessly.
relevant specific examples
Your essay includes relevant specific examples that effectively support your main points. For instance, mentioning Canada’s scholarships and the government's actions during the pandemic adds weight to your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You present clear and comprehensive ideas, making it evident which side you support and why.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs addressing specific points related to the topic.
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