more and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. What might be the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, more
people
are starting to realise the importance of leisure sctivities
and the positive effects it has on factors like productivity and performance. Some of them choose steady and routine ones, Correct your spelling
activities
while
recently more folks prefer the type of things which are risky and not quite safe, like mountain climbing. There are plenty of reasons for this
pick, such
as the need to feel brave and powerful and experiencing
some thrills for enjoyment. In my opinion, it is a positive change in society's Wrong verb form
experience
behavior
.
Change the spelling
behaviour
Firstly
, the main reason might be the urge to feel couragous
and in power. In today's society, many issues are Correct your spelling
courageous
happeing
which Correct your spelling
happening
makes
you feel weak. When you are doing an activity which demands courage, it has a positive spiritual effect on you and you begin to Correct subject-verb agreement
make
proud
of yourself. Add a missing verb
be proud
Additionally
, it increases your self-confidence which is an important factor for your mental health. Thus
, tending to do dangerous activities
is an outcome of trying to boost your spirit and gain the
Correct article usage
a
sence
of power.
Another reason might be the need to remove steadiness. in the current century, lives have become so Correct your spelling
sense
repeatitive
and boring, since most Correct your spelling
repetitive
people
need to work full-time over weekdays and only can rest on weekends, which does not include any new matters as well. So, people
incline
to do risky Add a missing verb
are incline
activities
to feel alive and experience a fresh way to enjoy their lives in a machinary
and steady lifestyle.
Correct your spelling
machinery
Overall
, people
do dangerous tasks to experience power, exitement
and joy. I believe that the increase in the will Correct your spelling
excitement
of doing
risky Change preposition
to do
activities
is a positive change,
because it means that the association are trying to maintain their mental health and not Remove the comma
apply
to let
steadiness make them depressed. It is recommended that governments provide facilities and Verb problem
letting their
safeties
for Fix the agreement mistake
safety
these kind
of tasks and help Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
people
enjoy these activities
and use them to boost their mind
.Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on
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coherence cohesion
Continue to focus on developing a clear logical structure. Use transition words and sentences to smoothly connect paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your main points and summarise your stance, highlighting your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
To make your main points stronger, support them with more specific examples and evidence. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Include discussions on why people engage in dangerous activities and its positive or negative development.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by elaborating on why these developments are considered positive or negative, providing more depth to your analysis.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples that directly support your main points. These examples can come from personal experiences, observations, or factual information to enrich your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.