“Rapid advances in technology will make the world of the future a more dangerous place” Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.

A scenario of development in
technology
can be easily
forseen
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foreseen
seen
in
future
Add an article
the future
a future
show examples
world
.
This
can lead to a consequence of a threat for human beings. Personally, I think
this
opinion has both positive and negative sides which the increasing in advance
technology
will bring benefits and drawbacks to the
world
. The fact that
the
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apply
show examples
technology
is more and
more increase
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increasing
show examples
in
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at
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a fast pace can lead to
lots
of unseen threats to
humans
can't be denied. Nowadays,
people
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
feel unsafe because there are
lots
of hacking identities
Wrong verb form
appearing
show examples
appear
Wrong verb form
appearing
show examples
. With the help of
technology
,
people
with bad intentions can steal other personal
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
or money from social media, credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
,... in the blink of an eye. They can use other identities to make scams
repeatly
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
.
Moreover
,
along side
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alongside
show examples
with
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apply
show examples
the rapid advances in
technology
is the
develop
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development
show examples
of AI -
atificial
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artificial
intelligence. Because of the
convinience
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convenience
and
efficience
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efficiency
of AI, a lot of
companys
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companies
replace
humans
for
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with
show examples
this
tool to economize.
Therefore
,
this
is becoming a trend in
mordern
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modern
society and
result
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results
show examples
to
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in
show examples
more and more
people
is
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being
show examples
jobless and being a burden
for
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to
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the country.
In
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On
show examples
the other hand,
technology
's development is an unavoidable improvement and can bring
lots
of benefits to
humans
in
today
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today's
show examples
world
.
The
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Technology
show examples
technology
can pave
a
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the
show examples
way for
human
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humans
show examples
to explore new
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
in the universe.
For example
,
humans
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
able to discover the signal of life
in
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on
show examples
other planet
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another planet
other planets
show examples
with the help of
technology
. Or in
medical
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the medical
show examples
field, with
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
facilities,
the
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apply
show examples
scientists are able to find out a
vacxine
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vaccine
for
COVID - 19
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COVID-19
. In regular life,
technology
plays an important role. Not only
people
can move
place
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from place
show examples
to place faster
by
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with
show examples
electric vehicles
and
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but
show examples
people
can
also
save the environment by using
this
technology
. In conclusion,
while
rapid advances
of
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in
show examples
technology
can lead to
lots
of drawbacks to human life in
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
world
, I can't deny the fact that the development of
technoloy
Correct your spelling
technology
can be a helpful tool for
human
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humans
show examples
if we know how to use and control it in an exact way.
Submitted by mai132004mai on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, focus on creating a clearer, more logical structure in your essay. Consider outlining your essay before writing to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, with each idea clearly connected to your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, ensure that you clearly state your opinion on the topic and summarize your main points succinctly. This will help to make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be supported with more specific examples and evidence. This could include citing reputable sources, providing statistical data, or using hypothetical scenarios that are directly related to your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses the prompt by providing a balanced argument. Offer a more nuanced discussion by exploring the complexities of the topic, such as how technological advancements can be made safer.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but could be made more comprehensive by delving deeper into the implications of technological advancements. Consider the broader social, economic, and environmental impacts to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your argument. The use of vague or general examples weakens your argument. Look for opportunities to include detailed incidents, scientific studies, or historical events that closely support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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