The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The prevailing belief among the majority is that the most effective strategy to enhance road safety is to enforce stricter punishments for traffic offenders.
This
author wholeheartedly agrees with
this
viewpoint and urges governments to implement more robust laws to address
this
issue. It is imperative to acknowledge the need for governmental measures against nearly-intoxicated
drivers
. A significant number of
drivers
leaving bars manage to evade fines simply because their blood alcohol levels hover close to the legal limit.
Consequently
, they avoid penalties.
Therefore
, advocating for a reduction in the acceptable alcohol percentage is a compelling argument to consider.
Moreover
, another pivotal aspect supporting the imposition of fines on
drivers
is their lack of responsibility. Many
drivers
tend to focus solely on their own well-being, disregarding the safety of others on the road.
This
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
approach frequently results in accidents, a well-known consequence of
such
negligence.
Thus
, it becomes crucial to highlight these incidents through news channels or online platforms to raise awareness and underscore the importance of individual responsibility. In conclusion, the swift implementation of new legislation is paramount for ensuring heightened road safety.
Therefore
, it is imperative to emphasize that
drivers
must not only adhere to the law but
also
demonstrate responsibility
while
operating a vehicle.
This
comprehensive approach, supported by stringent laws and increased awareness, is vital for fostering a safer and more responsible driving culture.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further with more diverse and concrete examples to improve task response. While your essay presents a clear standpoint and relevant examples, expanding on these with more specific real-world scenarios can enhance clarity and the persuasive power of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Your essay has a structured approach, but smoother transitions and more explicit connections between ideas could strengthen the overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: