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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you in regard to admission to your
sports
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 centre. My name is Arohi and I am 27 years old. I recently moved to
this
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 neighbourhood, as I started my studies at St. Pauls College. I am studying full-time in a Medical Assistant course. I live here with my friends in College accommodation
facilities
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. I would like to join the
sports
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 club because I have heard that there are many
sports
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 training available. I am willing to train myself , especially in swimming and ice hockey. It came to my attention that, there are players in your
sports
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facilities
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, who are playing at national and international tournaments, which has inspired me to join your
sports
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 centre. I want to learn more about these
sports
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facilities
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such
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 as, what is the timing for the
students
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 who would like to join.
In addition
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, I heard that membership cost is 3000$ for one year, so
this
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 cost is the same for the
students
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 or
students
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 have some percentage of discount. On our orientation day, our advisor mentioned that St. Paul's college
students
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 have some sort of discount on their membership. I appreciate it if you could give me some more details regarding the membership scheme and some more
sports
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facilities
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 with their timings. Sincerely yours, Arohi
Submitted by mubassirakolia78 on

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task achievement
In the third paragraph, you could provide some additional context on why you are particularly interested in swimming and ice hockey. This would help in giving more depth to your reason for joining the club.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking the fourth paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the timing and costs, and the other on membership options and discounts. This would make your queries more organized and easier to follow.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a polite and formal tone throughout, which is excellent for this context.
complete response
The letter covers all the required points: introduction, reason for interest, and questions about the club.
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