You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs #sir #madam

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you in regard to admission to your

sports

centre. My name is Arohi and I am 27 years old. I recently moved to

this

neighbourhood, as I started my studies at St. Pauls College. I am studying full-time in a Medical Assistant course. I live here with my friends in College accommodation

facilities

. I would like to join the

sports

club because I have heard that there are many

sports

training available. I am willing to train myself , especially in swimming and ice hockey. It came to my attention that, there are players in your

sports

facilities

, who are playing at national and international tournaments, which has inspired me to join your

sports

centre. I want to learn more about these

sports

facilities

such

as, what is the timing for the

students

who would like to join.

In addition

, I heard that membership cost is 3000$ for one year, so

this

cost is the same for the

students

have some percentage of discount. On our orientation day, our advisor mentioned that St. Paul's college

students

have some sort of discount on their membership. I appreciate it if you could give me some more details regarding the membership scheme and some more

sports

facilities

with their timings. Sincerely yours, Arohi

Submitted by mubassirakolia78 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

In the third paragraph, you could provide some additional context on why you are particularly interested in swimming and ice hockey. This would help in giving more depth to your reason for joining the club.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking the fourth paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the timing and costs, and the other on membership options and discounts. This would make your queries more organized and easier to follow.

suitable writing tone

The letter maintains a polite and formal tone throughout, which is excellent for this context.

complete response

The letter covers all the required points: introduction, reason for interest, and questions about the club.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

220 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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