Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be this case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
These days,
people
are used to be
self-employed rather than serving Wrong verb form
being
to
a company or organization. Change preposition
apply
This
is mainly because of the stressful condition
of the companies. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
However
, there are certain disadvantages associated with being self-employed especially, high
risk of collapsing and Correct article usage
the high
need
Correct article usage
the need
of investing
more Change preposition
to invest
money
initially
.
The major cause that drives people
to initiate their own business
is the increased stress of the working place
. It has become apparent thatCorrect your spelling
workplace
,
employees in Remove the comma
apply
majority
of companies are struggling to make a living by working Add an article
the majority
over-time
in very toxic and stressful working environments. Once they Correct your spelling
overtime
returned
home, they are completely exhausted and Wrong verb form
return
this
negatively impact
on relationship between the family. Change the verb form
impacts
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,
this
will lead to the occurrence of non-communicable diseases as well. For example
, research carried out by the University of California revealed that,
eight employees out of 10 suffered from high blood pressure. Remove the comma
apply
In contrast
, if you are engaged with your own business
, ultimately, you will be having a good inner peace.
On the other hand
, there are a few drawbacks behind
being self-employed. Change preposition
to
Preliminary
one is the sudden Add an article
The preliminary
collapsing
Replace the word
collapse
due to
various reasons. For instance
, people
who own vehicle
importing and selling Ventures Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
face
Wrong verb form
have faced
to
a disastrous situation recently because the government banned the importation of vehicles to the country. Another drawback is the need Change preposition
apply
of investing
Change preposition
to invest
satisfactory
amount of Add an article
the satisfactory
a satisfactory
money
in the initial stage. So that
, it is quite challenging for Correct determiner usage
apply
Add an article
a middle
the middle
middle class
person to start their own work unless they do not have Add a hyphen
middle-class
sufficient
amount of Add an article
a sufficient
money
. Furthermore
, if the person is not keen on managing the resources again he is not willing to earn a profit from the business
.
In conclusion, at present, there is a growing tendency of people
to shifting
Wrong verb form
shift
for
their own Change preposition
to
business
rather than working to
an employer. The main reason for Change preposition
for
this
transformation is the increased stress caused by the organizations. Anyway, possibility
of collapsing and Add an article
the possibility
need
Correct article usage
the need
of investing
Change preposition
to invest
high
amount of Add an article
a high
money
can be identified as major
Correct article usage
a major
drawbacks
of being self-employed.Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
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Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay discussed reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages, but more varied examples and a deeper analysis would enhance completeness. To improve, consider including a wider range of reasons for self-employment, as well as a discussion on the societal or economic impacts of this trend.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more clearly. While you have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a range of linking words to ensure a better flow. Additionally, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
Supported Main Points
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