IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A friend of yours is thinking f going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He|she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday. Describe some possible disadvantages. Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer.

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Dear Sir or Madam Hello. I am so glad you want to go camping. And I can tell you from many years of experience that you will love it. When you go camping, you can relax in the open nature and watch
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
. You can feel free there
which
Correct word choice
and
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 you can make new friends and chat with them. You can
also
Linking Words
swimming
Change the verb form
swim
be swimming
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 in rivers and lakes. And go fishing.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 the camp has its own disadvantages.
For example
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, these are beetles and flies. If you can not get
along with
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 them, you will have a lot of trouble. Anyway, I
also
Linking Words
 would have loved to go camping with you
this
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 summer,
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however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 since my cousin is visiting me from abroad
this
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 summer. I will have to give up on that idea. Take care and stay fine. Warm wishes Sabin

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task response
While your letter addresses the task's main points, expanding on each point with more detailed examples or personal experiences could strengthen your response. Consider adding specific anecdotes or reasons why you think your friend would enjoy camping, as well as more detailed descriptions of the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your letter, consider organizing your ideas more clearly with paragraphs dedicated to each main point. Transition words like "Furthermore," "On the other hand," and "Nevertheless" can help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
tone
Despite your attempt at a casual and friendly tone, the letter's structure and phrasing can feel somewhat abrupt. Work on using more natural and varied sentence structures to make your writing flow more smoothly, ensuring it reflects the conversational tone typical of a letter to a friend.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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