IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only sin cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #schools #facilities #sin #cities #people #teachers #doctors #work #areas #years
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A lot of
Nation's
Correct article usage
the Nation's
show examples
 educational institutions and hospitals are situated in town. Some individuals believe that every person should get the opportunity to work in their suitable areas, but others consider fresh
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
 should participate in the village for some years. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I agree with a former view because of the country’s development. Perhaps, the most compelling reason why better education and medical facilities in undeveloped sites because to ensure rights among the people. If the
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
 work in the countryside, underprivileged
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 will be able to obtain their necessary things.
For example
Linking Words
, they get their proper medicinal treatment and join for education.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are not only educated but
also
Linking Words
 well-skilled and free from the danger of diseases, which encourages them to contribute to
economic
Add an article
the economic
an economic
show examples
 system.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would be good for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
, who are fresh from university to implication their theoretical knowledge into practical.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if young
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
 choose their favourable places, they can select highly suitable areas.
As a result
Linking Words
, the underdeveloped portion doesn’t get their desirable things.
Although
Linking Words
 they get a chance to work in large towns, they do not gather much experience, which gives them less motivation. That’s why they are not successful in their job life.
Besides
Linking Words
, the government had bad investments in
this
Linking Words
 sector and particularly got no benefit from them. In conclusion, working in rural places is obviously a good thing, but the government should ensure their financial, accommodation and mental satisfaction so that every employee goes to
this
Linking Words
 place and works with full energy.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

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task achievement
Enhance clarity and detail in your introduction to better establish your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Develop your main points more concretely with specific examples, data, or scenarios to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and enhance the flow of your essay.
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