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Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school
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These days, educational facilities have been known as the best place to take into account for team teaching. Some say that playing
sports
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 in a community is indispensable to training pupils to collaborate at
school
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.
Besides
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, physical exercises as a group have a positive impact; I believe the approach method stimulates only minor communities. On the one hand,
sports
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 learning is designed to open diverse ways for children to communicate more with their friends to create robust relationships. It is widely known to be pivotal in approaching and sharing an excellent connection.
For instance
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, in the case of football, kids will directly come to their partner to discuss the position, including striker, mid-fielder, keeper, and strategy, before the game begins. The situation allows students to solve the problem during the game with a team for 90 minutes and work together to kill the game.
As a result
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, collaboration is possibly learned by utilizing a
sports
Use synonyms
 curriculum applied in a team.
On the other hand
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, the
school
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 should consider other activities to stimulate kid's corporation. It will be impossible to use physical exercises when the
school
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 has numerous pupils with various perspectives to collaborate with their friends. Many kids have different preferences for fun activities, so physical activity is no longer reliable.
For instance
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, there is an educational place in Malang City that trains its discipline with art methods,
such
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 as theatre, because they are more interested in it than in
sports
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.
Consequently
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, other activities will be more applicable to students at
school
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 based on the young people's preferences.
To sum up
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, it cannot be neglected that
sports
Use synonyms
 curricula are one of the most famous equipment to promote kids working with their friends.
However
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, I believe that other syllabi are going to be more precise when it is run.
Submitted by soniandriawan1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph are relevant to the main idea. Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will make the logical flow of your essay more apparent.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to reflect a clearer position on the topic. Make sure that your thesis statement is direct and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Include your own opinion more explicitly and develop it throughout the essay, alongside acknowledging opposing views.
task achievement
Support your ideas with more detailed and specific examples. Where possible, include real-world evidence or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to the topic.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments by explicitly stating how your examples and ideas support your position. This enhances the persuasiveness of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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