Nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. What are the positives and negatives of this development, in your opinion? Give some relevant examples.

Nowadays, more and more
people
prefer shopping online rather than physical shopping in
stores
. Some
people
think online shopping is a positive
development
, but in my opinion, I think shopping online is a negative
development
. Some argue that shopping online is a positive
development
. There are several reasons why
people
prefer to shop online. The first reason is that online shopping does not have to go to
stores
. Some
people
think going to the store to buy the things they want is unnecessary because it is a waste of time. Shopping online can save the time
people
go to
stores
and save the money
people
transfer to the
stores
.
Also
,
people
do not have to line up and wait for pay. The second reason is that shopping online does not have physical contact with others.
For example
, the covid 19 is a popular virus in the modern world,
people
are afraid of the virus and want to avoid going out, so online shopping will be a good choice for
people
who don't want to get into contact.
However
, in my opinion, I think physical shopping in
stores
is a negative
development
.
First,
physical shopping in
stores
can avoid buying the wrong thing.
People
prefer to shop in the
stores
because
people
can try on and decide if they suit them or not. As my experience an example, I like to buy clothes online, but sometimes I will buy the wrong size or the material is not what I expect, so shopping in
stores
is safe.
Second,
physical shopping in
stores
will not buy fake things.
People
who shop online might buy something fake, like the brand of makeup, clothes, or bags. In conclusion, some
people
think online shopping is a positive
development
. But in my opinion, I think physical shopping
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
stores
is better.
Submitted by vickychen941008 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, make sure you address both sides of the argument equally and comprehensively. While you did discuss both positives and negatives, the development of each point could be more balanced and detailed.
task achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your opinion with a thesis statement. This helps in immediately orienting the reader about your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow of your essay. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a well-defined conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your opinion. This is essential for a coherent structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. While you included personal anecdotes, incorporating broader or more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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