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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of short-term vistors to Austrilia from 4 different countries from 2010-2017.

The graph below shows the number of short-term vistors to Austrilia from 4 different countries from 2010-2017.
The graph below illustrates the
number
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 of
visitors
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 from four
differenet
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different
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 of
world
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the world
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 The USA, China, France and Australia to the Royal
British
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Museum
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 in ten years between 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Australia had the lowest total of
visitors
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 in all ten years.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, In 2000 China had the highest rate
exactly
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of exactly
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 300,000
visitors
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go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to the Royal
British
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Museum
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.
However
Linking Words
, In that year France had the lowest
number
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 of
visitors
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approximatley70,000
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approximately 70,000
 people. But, In 2010 that country had the highest same figure of
gustes
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gusts
 exactly 300,000 folks.
In contrast
Linking Words
, In 2006 and 2007 The USA had the same
number
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 of
visitors
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 to
go to
Verb problem
apply
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the Royal
British
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Museum
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 approximately 260,000 people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In 2001 and 2005 Australia had the same total of
visitors
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 (about 150,000
individual
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individuals
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).
Overall
Linking Words
, It is obvious that China started 300,000
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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gustes,
while
Linking Words
 after
during
Change preposition
apply
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ten years in
2010
Add a comma
2010,
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 that country had 150,000 total
of
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apply
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visitors
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 likes 2009. But, France had the lowest
number
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 of
gustes
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guests
 to go to the Royal
British
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Museum
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,
wherase
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whereas
where
 in 2010 that country had the highest
number
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 of
visitors
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, british, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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