: In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that private entities sponsor and implement more scientific
research
than the government.
This
reality has both pros and cons,
however
, I would contend that its merits may overshadow its demerits. Without a shadow of a doubt, the benefit of private funds can enhance the
research
and development process. The reason for
this
could be that it can create innovation and think creatively in specific fields.
Moreover
, the financial pressure on the state’s coffer can be relieved.
For instance
, the rapid development of mRNA vaccines by Pfizer and Moderna during the COVID-19 pandemic showed the efficiency and potential innovation of private companies,
this
case was groundbreaking in that harsh time.
Therefore
, private sponsors contribute numerous advantages to scientific
research
.
While
the redeeming features of the private companies' funding are widely acknowledged, their counterparts still linger. Private entities are more predisposed to financial incentives since they are primarily driven to boost their profits.
This
could probably be because they may not always prioritize
research
that benefits the public good
such
as environmental sustainability if it doesn’t align with their profit goals. To be more specific, a private medical firm in Ghana conducted
research
and produced over 6 hundred thousand doses of COVID-19 vaccine that did not meet WHO standards,
this
means they do
this
to maximize their profits.
Thus
, private funding for
research
and development can
also
bring some drawbacks. In conclusion, I would claim that
although
private companies invest and conduct more scientific
research
than the government, which brings abundant advantages,
however
, its counterparts still exist.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your score for Task Achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. This means providing a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, as well as a clearer explanation of why the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages. To improve, you could explicitly state in both your introduction and conclusion why the advantages are more significant, providing clear criteria or metrics for this assessment.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on creating a more logically structured essay. This involves planning your essay to have a clear progression from introduction, through well-structured body paragraphs, to conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with the first sentence introducing the idea (topic sentence) and the subsequent sentences providing support or examples. Transitions between paragraphs could also be smoother to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Task Achievement
While you've provided relevant examples, making them more specific and ensuring they directly support your argument can further enhance your essay. This involves choosing examples that clearly illustrate the point you are trying to make in each paragraph. For instance, when discussing the disadvantages, rather than providing a vague example, detail how the failure to meet WHO standards directly impacted public health, or provide statistics to support your point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • groundbreaking technologies
  • efficiently allocate resources
  • innovative projects
  • strict timelines
  • profit motives
  • basic research
  • commercial application
  • corporate funding
  • biases in research
  • unbiased exploration
  • balanced exploration
  • public sector
  • private sector
  • synergy
  • comprehensive outcomes
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