Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern times, some individuals
work
through electronic gadgets
while
sitting at
home
. I totally agree with the statement that remote working provides a number of benefits to employees than the owner itself and will discuss
this
further
in the subsequent paragraphs. Indeed, there are many pros of working from
home
to the employees. The most prominent one is it strengthens the bond between family
members
. To elaborate, nowadays, everyone in a family has a busy schedule
due to
which family
members
have less
time
to gather together. In
this
case, online
work
allows them some precious
time
to share their experiences and feelings with their loved ones.
As a result
, the love and the bond between them becomes permanent.
For example
, in India, it has been studied that 30% of the families working from
home
are closer to their family
members
.
Moreover
, online
work
is considered to be cost-effective as it contributes to saving travelling
time
and
money
. To explicate it, people do not need to travel every day to their workplace, so, no need to spend
money
on cars and petrol which saves their
time
and
money
and can utilise them somewhere else.
For instance
, a survey conducted by BBC company states that people not commuting every day are 10% richer than others.
Additionally
, working at
home
offers more chances for success as people can
work
efficiently. They can
work
at their own pace without any workload or deadline. In conclusion,
although
working at
home
allows the employer to save their finance, it offers more benefits to the workers in terms of strong bonding between family
members
, efficiency in
work
and reduced travelling
time
and
money
.
Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from addressing counterarguments. Discuss how employers might also benefit from remote working, and then refute those points if you continue to agree that employees benefit more.
task achievement
Be careful with repetition. For instance, the paragraphs explaining the benefits to employees have overlapping ideas about saving time and money. Streamlining your points can make your argument more concise and effective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument that employees benefit more than employers. This will help to achieve a more coherent essay structure.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance on the topic, making your position easy to understand from the start.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with distinct paragraphs each focused on a specific benefit to employees from remote work.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the survey from India and BBC, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points, effectively reinforcing your argument.

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