Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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What works well
4Your introduction clearly states your stance on the topic, making your position easy to understand from the start.
The essay is well-organized, with distinct paragraphs each focused on a specific benefit to employees from remote work.
The examples provided, such as the survey from India and BBC, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points, effectively reinforcing your argument.
Improvement Suggestions
3Your essay would benefit from addressing counterarguments. Discuss how employers might also benefit from remote working, and then refute those points if you continue to agree that employees benefit more.
Be careful with repetition. For instance, the paragraphs explaining the benefits to employees have overlapping ideas about saving time and money. Streamlining your points can make your argument more concise and effective.
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument that employees benefit more than employers. This will help to achieve a more coherent essay structure.