Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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One of the most pungent issues these days relates to how young
children
deal with technology, specifically
smartphones
in
this
case. From my personal experiences, I believe that
this
problem is
due to
some causes like the addictive effect and the environment.
Also
, I would reckon that
this
matter is more likely to be a long-lasting negative affection. First of all, problems like
this
are not new. Yet, it hasn’t been figured out a more suitable solution and addiction is one of the major reasons. In actuality, addiction to something is difficult to escape,
for instance
, drugs or alcohol.
Therefore
,
smartphones
are no exception as they can keep appealing to you with various entertaining content.
Besides
,
children
are often known for their uncontrollable or not-so-thorough understanding of what might result afterwards. On second thought, the environment is another impacted factor in why
children
overuse their
phones
.
This
element consists of inappropriate parenting, and fear of missing out,… and because of
such
tempting surroundings, it
finally
drives them to more hours on
smartphones
.
For example
, imagine you are responsible for caring for your
children
,
then
paying attention to their activities, especially on
phones
would definitely be a must to do since there are some inappropriate videos or information online that might strongly affect their thinking. Another unavoidable case is that in
this
modern era,
phones
are basically everywhere. Kids are facilitated to
use
it and without one, a child tends to feel like they are being left behind, which eventually leads to plenty of negative emotions or states.
However
,
this
situation might
also
be seen as advantageous.
Children
were required to study online during the COVID-19 lockdown, and it was imperative that they
use
their
smartphones
or other comparable devices for
this
purpose. Online courses have emerged as a viable educational option because of their efficiency and convenience during the lockdown.
Consequently
, cell
phones
are used for both entertainment and studying.
In particular
, even
children
may now
use
smartphones
with great ease and convenience. The installed apps enable kids to pick up new languages and abilities. Kids can be entertained and educated by watching movies, playing games, and listening to music. In summary, using a smartphone without proper control will clearly waste time and prevent you from having chances to experience realistic situations. That’s why in my opinion, I have thoroughly acknowledged that overusing any types of technological devices
besides
phones
gives off more downsides than the pros. To be more precise, whether the smartphone, a wonderful invention by humankind, appears to be beneficial or detrimental depending on how we make
use
of it.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Task Achievement
For task response, make sure all parts of the question are answered comprehensively. It is good that you addressed both sides of the argument, but ensuring your examples are more specific and directly linked to your argument will help strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
Develop your main ideas more thoroughly with specific examples and clearer explanations. Detailing how smartphones impact children, with more focused examples, will make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by clearly separating your ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a single main idea, supported by detailed examples or reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using a range of cohesive devices appropriately. While you have a good structure, enhancing the connections between your ideas will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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