An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In today’s society, having a good
appearance
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is essential for every gender.
Hence
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,
people
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are willing to do everything to obtain their best looks. Some
people
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agree that having cosmetic
surgery
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is the best way to boost their confidence,
while
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others oppose that. In
this
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essay, I will explain the reason why
people
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do
surgery
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, and in my personal arguments, I believe
this
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trend is a negative improvement. On one hand, there are several reasons
people
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drag themselves to the operating room for beauty procedures are might be because they only have to lay down and let the doctor check and prepare treatments that suit patients the best. Even though cosmetic
surgery
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is expensive,
people
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can see the results in short periods.
People
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who have unsymmetric faces, choose to straight go to the doctor because, with some medicine and operations, they achieve their best look easily.
In contrast
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, applying traditional tools and medicine consumes more time. The increase of
people
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desiring to operate can be seen in the number of beauty clinics in Thailand and Korea increased dramatically
due to
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the high level of patients.
However
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,
in contrast
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, the arguments
people
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against
surgery
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are they believe when someone changes their
appearance
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they are not grateful for God’s creation and their parent's genes.
Moreover
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,
surgery
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affects the variety of
people
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's looks, because the majority of
people
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have the same idea about the best features that they want, in general, they look up to celebrities.
Furthermore
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, most
people
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believe that doing
surgery
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will produce confusion for the next generations because they have completely different appearances.
For example
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, in China, there are threads to show your children's pictures on social media as evidence that their parents had face
surgery
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at a young age. In conclusion,
while
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people
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choose shortcuts to change their
appearance
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with
surgery
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, I believe
this
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might have a negative effect. Operations will change their
appearance
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that difficult to recognise and confuse society.
Submitted by yannn on

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task response
Your essay presents a clear response to the task prompt, discussing both reasons for the increase in cosmetic surgery and your perspective on its impact.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas could be clearer with more organizational markers or connectors. Consider using phrases like 'On the other hand' to better link your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
In your essay, try to further develop and expand on some ideas with more specific examples or explanations, particularly in the pros of cosmetic surgery paragraph.
task response
Make sure to address alternative perspectives with more depth for a balanced view. For instance, elaborate on why some might view cosmetic surgery as positive beyond boosting confidence.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and sets the stage for your arguments.
support
You provide relevant examples, such as the increase in beauty clinics in Thailand and Korea, which support your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Idealized beauty standards
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Advancements in medical technology
  • Socially acceptable
  • Self-improvement
  • Psychological well-being
  • Competitive workforce
  • Youthful appearance
  • Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
  • Physical appearance
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