Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobd are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether genders
in
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are in
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occupations is an increasingly concerning topic of debate. Some people maintain
men
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and women have their own performance, which
then
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leads to a number of particular jobs
are
Wrong verb form
being
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for
men
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and the rest
are
Wrong verb form
being
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for women. The writer of
this
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essay agrees
to
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with
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the given statement
due to
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health strength and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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personalities
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personality
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and will shed light
in
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on
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the latter. There are countless reasons why people believe
this
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. Among them is because of each gender’s durability, in terms of
men
Use synonyms
, they are involved in hard
works
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work
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such
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like
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as
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constructing and engineering
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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were women’s weaker side.
Although
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several exceptions
are
Verb problem
have
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occurring
Wrong verb form
occurred
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in recent days that proved they possess the ability,
however
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, the qualities might be different as for centuries,
men
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
have
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been maintaining the habit of completing tough
works
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work
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. Another culprit of
this
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is women are careful in everything
which
Correct word choice
and
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their counterparts do not own
this
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skill. Because of
this
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, numerous jobs, for
instances
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instance
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doing business and planning are increasingly suitable for females in spite of a small number of males
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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do it.
Nevertheless
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, the quality gap between
two
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the two
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genders
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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still enormous, in fact, females in Asian regions are frequently forced to stay at home doing chores and care for babies
since
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from
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the very early years,
therefore
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they may
got
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get
be got
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used to doing
this
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and as mentioned, there are few of them being leaders in the world at the moment. In conclusion, I strongly agree
to
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with
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this
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view
due to
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the mentioned opinions.
However
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, I encourage all males and females to take part in any jobs that they
pursuit
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pursue
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as there are no discriminations and preventions.
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Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and specificity of your main points. Your arguments should distinctly support the stance you've taken, using clear and specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay more logically. Ideas should flow from one to the next more seamlessly, with better use of paragraphing to distinguish between the introduction, body, and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (such as linking words or phrases) to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the fluidity of your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Seek to provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt by fully addressing both sides of the argument before stating your position. This includes acknowledging potential counterarguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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