Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobd are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether genders
in
Add a missing verb
are in

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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occupations is an increasingly concerning topic of debate. Some people maintain
men
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and women have their own performance, which
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

leads to a number of particular jobs
are
Wrong verb form
being

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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for
men
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the rest
are
Wrong verb form
being

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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for women. The writer of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay agrees
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the given statement
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

health strength and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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personalities
Fix the agreement mistake
personality

It seems that personalities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and will shed light
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the latter. There are countless reasons why people believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. Among them is because of each gender’s durability, in terms of
men
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, they are involved in hard
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

like
Change preposition
as

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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constructing and engineering
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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were women’s weaker side.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

several exceptions
are
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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occurring
Wrong verb form
occurred

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb occurring. Consider changing it.

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in recent days that proved they possess the ability,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the qualities might be different as for centuries,
men
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had
Wrong verb form
have

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb had. Consider changing it.

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been maintaining the habit of completing tough
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Another culprit of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is women are careful in everything
which
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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their counterparts do not own
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

skill. Because of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, numerous jobs, for
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance

It seems that instances may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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doing business and planning are increasingly suitable for females in spite of a small number of males
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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do it.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the quality gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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genders
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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still enormous, in fact, females in Asian regions are frequently forced to stay at home doing chores and care for babies
since
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the very early years,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they may
got
Change the verb form
get
be got

The verb got after the modal verb may does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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used to doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

and as mentioned, there are few of them being leaders in the world at the moment. In conclusion, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the mentioned opinions.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I encourage all males and females to take part in any jobs that they
pursuit
Replace the word
pursue

The word pursuit doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as there are no discriminations and preventions.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and specificity of your main points. Your arguments should distinctly support the stance you've taken, using clear and specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay more logically. Ideas should flow from one to the next more seamlessly, with better use of paragraphing to distinguish between the introduction, body, and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (such as linking words or phrases) to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the fluidity of your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Seek to provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt by fully addressing both sides of the argument before stating your position. This includes acknowledging potential counterarguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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