Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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According to
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several individuals, animal testing is unethical
therefore
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there is some action to
band
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ban

The word band doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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legally
Correct pronoun usage
it legally

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. In the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other

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individuals' opinion, animal experiments
is
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are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject experiments. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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necessary for scientists to discover new theories. From my perspective,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sacrificing
animal
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animals

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is
bad
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a bad

The noun phrase bad approach seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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approach, without
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

experimentation
people
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impossible to discover good
solution
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solutions

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in
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to

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any other problems under the developed legal
regulation
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regulations

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. In
this
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essay
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essay,

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I will provide first
people
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's argument that animal testing should be forbidden, and later on the importance of scientific research. Today, numerous
of
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apply

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health products are being conducted on animal testing, they have similar body
structure
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structures

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like
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to

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human
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humans

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. Without those scientific achievements, it is
unworkable
Correct word choice
impossible to

There may be an adjective issue here.

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save
the
Correct article usage
apply

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
is
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are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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struggling
illness
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with illness

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.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all COVID-19 vaccines passed
animal
Correct article usage
the animal

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testing method. If those vaccines made by animal-free
method
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methods

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, it would
be take
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take

It appears that the form of the verb take does not work with be in this sentence.

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a lot of time and
loose
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lose

The word loose doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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more
people
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. In fact, 7 million
people
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have died since
spread
Correct article usage
the spread

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corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus

The word corona virus seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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. Looking at the alternatives,
scientist
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scientists

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find out human-like
structure
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structures

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using AI (Artificial Intelligence).
To
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In

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order to discover animal free approach
for
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to

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well-being
Add an article
the well-being

The noun phrase well-being seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
people
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, all
government
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governments

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must spend more and more budget for science. As
the
Correct article usage
a

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result, if it
would be
Wrong verb form
is

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb would be. Consider changing it.

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successful, not only
have
Verb problem
be

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beneficial for research
purpose
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purposes

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,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

improve the number of living species. In conclusion, modern humanity cannot achieve scientific development like today without using
animal
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animals

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for
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in

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scientific
Correct article usage
a scientific

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way. The only
the
Correct article usage
apply

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, not only
strict
Add a missing verb
do strict

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guideline
Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines

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need to be established by the government but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kids are provided
an
Add the preposition
with an

It appears that you are missing a preposition with the verb provided. Consider adding the preposition.

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education about respecting animals. The
words
Correct your spelling
world

The word words doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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would be
better
Correct article usage
a better

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place to live
both
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for both

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humans and animals.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a view on both sides of the argument regarding animal experimentation, which is a good approach for this type of essay. However, to enhance task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt by providing a more nuanced discussion on whether animal experimentation can be justified and discussing alternatives more thoroughly. Additionally, integrating more specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but could benefit from clearer paragraphing and transitions to guide the reader through your argument more effectively. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that links back to the overall essay question.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This not only makes your essay more cohesive but also helps in guiding the reader through your arguments, making the essay more comprehensible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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